Is Negativity Running Your Life?

Is negativity running your life with the messages you repeat to yourself on a regular basis? Do your memorized “scripts” running through your head support the life you want…or do they hinder your life in some way? If your messages to yourself are not supportive, it’s time to rewrite your scripts.

“Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.”
-Proverbs 4:23

Good or bad, we all have scripts that subconsciously run in the background and color the way we view the world.

Unfortunately, the world tells us that it’s okay to speak negatively about one another. Magazines, newspapers and television stations make millions of dollars exploiting the misfortune and failure of people. We are so brainwashed into believing that it’s okay to be critical and to tear people down, rather than using our conversations to build people up.

After graduating from college, the first full-time job I held was a support staff position in a large university. Several times a week, other support staff would gather during work breaks and start up conversations that more-often-than-not focused on complaining, blaming, criticizing and gossip. Over time, these daily conversations started pulling me down. Before I knew it, I had a steady flow of negative scripting running through my subconscious mind.

I dreaded going to work.

I realized that being any part of these negative conversations—even if I was just listening and not participating—needed to stop. Even though it took one-third of my lunch hour to drive home and back, that’s what I started doing each day during my lunch break, just so I could get away from the negativity.

If you want to protect yourself from negative scripting, begin by stopping whatever flow of negative communication you’re currently a part of. Avoid situations that pull you into such conversations. If you are unable to avoid it, choose to not participate and do whatever you can to redirect the conversation to something positive.

Decide how you want to use the power of your words. Do you choose to build people up or tear people down?

You wouldn’t invite a garbage truck to back up to your home and dump garbage in your living room … so don’t allow yourself or others to dump verbal garbage on you or others.

Focus on Strengths

Although the book, Now, Discover Your Strengths, was published nearly two decades ago, I think many of the points made are still relevant today. The authors did extensive research which found that only 41% of Americans believe that the key to success is to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses. In Japan and China, only 24% of those surveyed said they’d focus on strengths. The rest of the population believed that the key to success is found by focusing on weaknesses and trying to improve them.

The problem is that we tend to get what we focus on.  If we focus on weaknesses, what does that mean?  Here were a couple of startling findings in the studies that were conducted:

Parents were asked which grade they would spend the most time discussing with their child if they came home with the following report card:  A in English, A in Social Studies, C in Biology, F in Algebra.  The results:  77% of the parents said they would spend the most time discussing the failed Algebra grade.

The authors did a search to determine how many studies have been done on depression. They found more than 40,000 studies on depression, vs. only about 40 studies that had been conducted on joy and fulfillment.

The authors pointed out that the balance is off. Our perspective is so skewed toward weakness and illness that we know very little about strength and health. They note that if these weaknesses interfere with our strengths, we need to develop strategies to manage around them. Although a focus on weakness may help us prevent failure, it won’t help us to reach excellence. We reach excellence only by understanding and cultivating our strengths.

“Criticism has the power to do good when there is something that must be destroyed, dissolved, or redirected, but it is capable only of harm when there is something to be built.”

—Carl Jung, Swiss psychologist

It’s Your Choice!

Would you rather be known as someone who puts people down or lifts people up?

Would you rather be known as a complainer or a problem solver?

Would you rather be known as someone who is critical or encouraging?

For business owners: Would you rather be known as someone who uses people to build your business or someone who uses your business to build people?

Begin today by lifting someone up.

Who needs a little kindness and encouragement? Send them a card or a message or encouragement or appreciation right now!

Lyrics to a song I wrote years ago guide my live today. Listen to Your Heart is very much my message to friends, family, and clients – and is the core principle around which my work as a Life Architect is aligned.

If you’re ready to shift your focus and rewrite some old negative scripts, I can help! Let’s schedule a no-cost, no-pressure Discovery Call today.

Additional Resources:

• Blog: Seeds of Greatness
• Blog: The Key to Living the Life You Want
• Blog: Out of Control
• Guide: Cultivating Happiness: Living Life on Your Terms
• Guide: Creating New Habits