Create What You Want

Have you ever wondered how to create what you want in life? As you look around, you see some people who seem to have all the luck. They get exactly what they want! Are they just luckier than you…or is there more to it than luck?

I had the great fortune of spending my senior year of high school at the Interlochen Arts Academy, which is located in a small town in northwestern Michigan. If you’ve never heard of it, think of the TV show Fame. It’s that kind of a place–where a small, select group of students gather to study music, dance, drama, visual arts and creative writing. I studied vocal performance and loved every minute of my time there.

When my acceptance letter arrived in the mail, I was thrilled! I had attended public school in Phoenix my entire life, so this was a big move for me—2000 miles away from family, friends, and the sun-kissed city I’d called home for most of my life.

My parents were in the process of declaring bankruptcy, so I knew I needed assistance in order to pay for tuition, room and board. I asked Interlochen for financial aid, and I was grateful to receive a partial scholarship.

Expressing Gratitude

Once I got settled into campus life, I asked the financial aid office who was responsible for making my scholarship possible. I wanted to send a thank you note to express my gratitude and appreciation. I learned that W. Clement Stone was the donor. At the time, I had no idea who he was. I just knew that The Stone Center–a building on campus–had been named after him.

After thanking W. Clement Stone for the scholarship he’d so generously made available to me, several weeks went by. To my surprise, I received a personal handwritten letter in the mail from him, thanking me for my expression of gratitude and encouraging me to never give up on my dreams and my passion for singing.

Little did I know that W. Clement Stone would leave a much greater imprint on my life that would last far beyond my time at Interlochen.

After college, I learned that W. Clement Stone authored several personal development books, teaching timeless principles that touched the lives of many contemporary thought leaders–including Jack Canfield–a man who years later became my mentor.

Get clear why you’re here.

April is Stress Awareness Month. A major stress factor in many people’s lives is the fact that they aren’t honoring their life’s purpose. This also explains why some people aren’t as successful as they’d like to be. They haven’t connected with their life purpose and decided what they want. They’re living their life by default rather than by design.

Your purpose is determined by a combination of your passion, mission, vocation and profession. The graphic to the left beautifully illustrates how these four things intersect to help you determine your purpose.

I was living by default when I landed my first job out of college, entering the workforce at a non-profit music-related organization in a fundraising role. The job found me, and while I originally felt that I was lucky to find work, the reality was that the work was not a good fit for me. It did not reflect my purpose. But the more time I invested in the fundraising profession, the harder it was to consider doing anything else.

After 13 years of grinding it out in a profession that did not reflect my purpose, I received the gift of unemployment when the non-profit that employed me had a budget crisis and my job was eliminated.

Although I felt devastated at the time, getting laid off was a huge gift to me. It pushed me out of my comfort zone of living in “default” mode. Getting laid off helped me make a conscious and intentional choice to change direction and explore what I felt called to do with my life. Within a few years, I’d started my own business and was honoring my purpose by following my own path.

“When you discover your mission, you will feel its demand. It will fill you with enthusiasm and a burning desire to get to work on it.”
–W. Clement Stone

Jack Canfield’s first mentor was W. Clement Stone. He taught Jack a powerful question to ask: “If I could live my ideal life, what would I be doing?”

I invite you to ask yourself the same question. If you have difficulty coming up with an answer, think of someone whose life and work you admire. This will help you start down the path of connecting with your core values — an important aspect of honoring your purpose and finding what makes your heart sing.

Ask for what you want!

In Jack Canfield’s bestselling book, The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, he outlines 67 principles for success. Jack learned several of these principles from W. Clement Stone. One of the most powerful lessons he learned was the importance of asking for what you want.

As you work toward achieving an important goal, you will encounter disappointments and setbacks. If you ask for what you want, you may also encounter a lot of “no’s.” The truth is, you really don’t have anything to lose by asking, but you have everything to gain.

Imagine if I had received my acceptance letter from Interlochen and I had not asked for financial aid, assuming that my parents made too much money for me to qualify. If I had not asked, I would not have received any financial aid, and I would not have attended Interlochen Arts Academy my senior year of high school.

Most people are afraid of rejection or looking needy, so they don’t ask. In order to be successful, you must get out of your comfort zone and ask for what you want.

Jack Canfield was rejected by 144 publishers before he found someone who would publish his first Chicken Soup for the Soul book. He exercised incredible persistence and determination each time another publisher said no. If someone said “no” to him, that simply meant “not yet.”  Every no took him closer to a yes.

Jack’s advice: “If you ask enough people, eventually you’ll get a yes. When the world says no, you say “NEXT!”

Jack’s ambitious goals and his unwillingness to give up his quest for a publisher resulted in phenomenal success. His Chicken Soup for the Soul book series has more than 250 titles translated into 47 languages and has sold more than 500 million copies worldwide.

Tips for Getting What You Want

There’s a specific science to asking for and getting what you want and need in life. Learning how to ask effectively will make a huge difference as you work toward achieving your goals. As with everything, the more you practice asking, the better you’ll get at doing it.

Jack Canfield shares these tips for getting what you want:

1. Ask as though you expect to get it. Make your request with confidence and a full expectation that your wish will be granted.

2. Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get what you want. Adopt the attitude that all you need to get what you want is to speak up and say that you want it.

3. Ask someone who can give it to you. If you want a yes, there’s no sense asking a person who is incapable of fulfilling your request. Qualify the person you are talking to before asking.

4. Be specific. Vague requests produce vague results. Be clear about exactly what you want to ensure you get it. Don’t ask for a raise – ask for $5,000 more a year.

5. Ask repeatedly. Persistence is a key principle of success. Some people will say no to your requests. Your job is to keep asking until you get a yes.

Take Action!

The biggest thing separating people who succeed from those who don’t is that winners take action. If you are feeling stuck or are unclear what the next action is that you need to take, do a little soul searching by answering these questions:

1. What is the cost to you if you don’t ask for what you want and need?

2. How do you stop yourself from asking?

3. What’s possible if you ask for what you want or need?

Now it’s time to brainstorm a list of things you need to get from others in order to accomplish your goals. This could include tangible items, training, advice, money, services, assistance, favors – whatever you need to move you closer to your goal. Make a spreadsheet like this one below and identify at least three things you will ask for.

“The universe rewards those who take action. When you take action, not only do additional resources come your way, but you get feedback that helps you adjust your course and refine your approach. Taking action is the one thing that separates successful people from everyday people in life.”   -Jack Canfield

Click here to download Jack’s Success Principles 12-month Success Planner, which will help you map out the actions you’ll need to take to get from where you are to where you want to be.

As a Jack Canfield Certified Trainer, I can help you apply the Success Principles to your life. In this blog I’ve mentioned four of Jack’s principles:

#2: Be clear why you’re here.
#3: Decide what you want.
#13: Take action.
#17: Ask! Ask! Ask!

If you’d like a fresh perspective– someone to help you design the life you want by aligning your vision, priorities, and actions—let’s schedule a no-cost, no-pressure Discovery Call today.

Additional Resources:

• Blog: Seeds of Greatness
• Blog: Opening New Doors: Dissolving the walls of your self-imposed prison
• Blog: How to Achieve the Success You Want
• Guide: Creating New Habits