Lighten the Load

Are you moving through life as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders?  Imagine if you were to lighten the load, how much faster you could freely move through each day!

April is Stress Awareness Month. Stress is such an important topic that I’ve decided to dive deeper into it this week. If you missed last week’s blog – Five Things to Know About Stress and What to Do About It – click here to read it.

How do you carry your load?

Have you ever wondered how it is that some people can manage stress so much better than others?  I’ve come to realize that it’s not one’s life circumstances — but rather the way in which they respond to their circumstances – that makes the difference in how much or how little stress they experience.

There are three primary factors that affect how you carry your load and manage stress:

1. Examine your thoughts. If you’re feeling really stressed, examine your thoughts. Your thoughts can create positive or negative feelings. Focus your thoughts on what you want rather than what you don’t want. What you focus on expands.

2. Examine your beliefs, as they also play a huge role in your stress level. You may have been raised with some beliefs that were passed down from one generation to the next. The question is, what beliefs does your mind focus on? How does this impact your ability to manifest your intentions for your life? Does it serve you to continue holding on to certain beliefs you were raised with, or are you ready to adopt some different beliefs and thoughts that better support and sustain you? What you focus on expands.

3. Take 100% responsibility for your life. All of us have experienced challenges and disappointments in our lives. It’s not the challenges or mistakes that define who you are. It’s your response to the events in your life that will determine your present and future. In Jack Canfield’s book, The Success Principles, principle #1 is to take 100 percent responsibility for your life. He teaches the following equation, which has had a huge positive impact on my life:
   

   E + R = O
   Event + Response = Outcome

   Here’s the life-altering lesson I learned from Jack: the deciding factor (O) to your success is not the external conditions or circumstances (E); it’s how you choose to respond (R) to those life events.

   Your perception of reality is what creates YOUR reality. The key to changing your reality is to practice realistic optimism by shifting your focus. Here’s an interesting exercise that exemplifies the power of choosing what you focus on:

   (1) Tell someone your life story or life experience as if it were a tragedy, emphasizing all the terrible aspects of that experience.
   (2) Now, tell the same story as an uplifting and delightful experience, focusing on all of the positive aspects of that same experience, without denying the facts.

   Notice how your perception of the same story changes by shifting your focus. How you think about and respond to events in your life can either be a great source of motivation, or it can become a huge source of stress that interferes with your happiness and holds you back from living your best life.

   When you change your thoughts, you change how you feel. When you change how you feel, it changes how you act (your response). When you change how you respond to events in your life, you will experience different outcomes or results.

   Changing your thoughts alone will not change your life. Empowering thoughts, combined with the right consistent actions, will create the results you desire.

   As you examine what prevents you from achieving the success you want — personally or professionally — what’s holding you back?

   You are 100% responsible for all success and failure in your life.

The Blame Game

When someone feels stressed and unhappy with an outcome, they often choose to blame the event (E) or another person for their lack of results (O). When things don’t go the way they want, they blame the economy, the weather, lack of time, money, education or opportunity, racism, gender bias, the political climate, their spouse, their kids, their boss—anyone but themselves.

There’s no disputing that many circumstances exist which impact your life in some way. However, if these events or circumstances were the deciding factors in whether or not someone succeeded, nobody would achieve success.

Those who blame other people or circumstances have put themselves in a self-imposed prison by making themselves a victim. They may convince themselves that they have no choice because of circumstances beyond their control. By forfeiting choice, they create a great deal of angst and stress in their life.

For every person who makes an excuse and says that something is not possible, there are many others who have faced the same or even more challenging circumstances and have succeeded.

A Formula for Reducing Stress & Increasing Success

If you have not achieved the success you desire or enjoyed the happiness you deserve, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that YOU are responsible for your outcomes whether you consciously try to create them or not. The good news is that YOU are responsible for your outcomes, and achieving better outcomes is as simple as using a better formula.

You are already using the E + R = O formula, whether you know it or not. You have been using it your entire life. Up until now, the R may have represented your knee-jerk auto-pilot reactions. Beginning today, instead of reacting you can instead choose a conscious response for each and every event or experience in your life. This will significantly affect your outcomes.

Here are some tips for reducing your stress while increasing your ability to succeed in whatever you set out to do:

• Intentionally align your thoughts, words, and actions with your purpose, values, and goals.
• Feed your mind positive and uplifting thoughts that permeate your sub-conscious, where your beliefs are stored.
• Surround yourself with other people who reflect who you want to become, and minimize your interactions with those who pull you down.
• Change your responses (R) to the events (E) until you get the outcome (O) you desire.
• Take 100% responsibility for your life.
• Set measurable goals, write them down, and review them often.
• Take inspired action!

One of the great joys of being a coach is that I get to journey with my clients as they create the kind of work and play they’re most passionate about. When your passions, talents and skills intersect, there is no limit to what’s possible for you! If you’d like to explore the possibility of working with me as your coach, let’s schedule a no-cost, no-pressure discovery call today. If I am not the right coach to assist you, I’ll offer some recommendations to get you connected with a different coach or other resources.

Additional Resources

• Blog: Five Things to Know About Stress and What to Do About It
• Blog: Make a Positive Mental Shift
• Blog: Is Fear Running Your Life?
• Blog: Balance Your Life: Environment #1 – Memetic
• Blog: How to Achieve the Success You Want
• Free Coloring Pages: Reduce Stress & Increase Joy: 19 Inspirational Coloring Pages
• Free Coloring Book: Relaxing Designs: Mandala Coloring Book with 24 Designs
• Guide: Banish Stress from Your Life: Your Guide to Living More Peacefully

Life Architect – Creating Blueprints for Purposeful & Productive Lives

Kathy@OrgCoach.net
www.OrgCoach.net