A Relationship Builder or Destroyer?

Posted December 4, 2018

In Life Management, Managing Priorities, Relationship Building, Time Management

Have you ever wondered how much time you spend on your phone each day? Recent research reveals that the average person spends four or more hours a day on our phones. We’re addicted. Is your smart phone a relationship builder or a relationship destroyer?

At least 81% of American adults now own a smartphone, and these devices have become an integral part of both our work and personal lives. The key question is this: What does your smart phone do for you?

I recently overheard a father talking about how disappointed he was with himself during his daughter’s soccer game. She was the goalie and she made a great save that won the game for her team. Her father missed seeing her make the save because he was so distracted looking at his phone instead of watching her play.

How often do you have missed opportunities to enjoy simply being in the moment? How many meals do you have where others present are on their phones instead of connecting with you…or where you are on your phone instead of connecting with others? Go to any restaurant and observe people sitting together for a meal. More often than not, you’ll see people are on their phones rather than investing time to meaningfully connect with others at the table.

Social Media

According to research, we spend an average of 1 hour and 56 minutes on these top 5 social media platforms (listed by usage):

YouTube
Facebook
Snapchat
Instagram
Twitter

Although this doesn’t include sites like Pinterest, LinkedIn, and other popular social media platforms, the average person spends at least two hours a day engaging with social media platforms on their phones.

Although many sleep with their smartphones and spend multiple hours a day starting at device screens, almost of half of American adults say they prefer in-person communication over other modes, including text messages, emails or social media, according to a poll taken last month of 1,820 US adults.

Track Your Usage

The best way to monitor your phone usage is to first track it. Click here to read an article that reviews several tracker apps. Download one of these apps and use your phone as you normally would for one week. Once you know how often you are checking your phone and which apps you are using the most, you can start to evaluate the value of these activities in your life and make more conscious choices about how you spend your time. Some of the apps even allow you to lock your phone when you go over a set amount of time.

Phone Usage and Productivity

You may not have given much thought as to how your smart phone affects your productivity. Before we delve into this topic any further, let’s look at what productivity IS and what it IS NOT.

Historically, productivity has been a measure of the efficiency of a person completing a task – getting more things done faster.

My preferred definition is not about efficiency, but about effectiveness. In order to measure effectiveness, you must first be clear about your priorities, intentions, and goals. Within this context, productivity is not about getting more things done faster, but about effectively managing your most important priorities, intentions and goals.

As you consider your priorities, here are some questions for you to ponder. Nobody else will see your answers…be honest with yourself.

Do you focus on your phone instead of on what’s most important?
Do you respond quickly to alerts, emails, phone calls, or texts without taking time to consider other things that may be more important to you?
As you spend time on social media, are you wasting precious hours comparing yourself to others, or posting things to make yourself look better (more successful, more popular, etc.)?

Keeping your phone on all the time can really create a drag on your productivity. It’s easy to justify checking a quick work email or convincing yourself that you have to be close to your phone in case you get an important call. Occasionally that may be necessary, depending on the type of work that you do. But the reality is, most of the time calls and text messages are not that important.

The world will not come to an end if you take some down time and focus on activities, tasks and relationships that are most important to you.

Reduce Phone Time and Increase Productivity

Here are some tips to help you reduce the amount of time you spend on your phone and repurpose that time so you can be more productive.

Download an app tracker and blocker. Once you see how much time you actually spend on your phone, you may want help gaining more control of your time. An app blocker can be a great way to limit your screen time or set controls when you are working.

Don’t check your phone first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. Start your day by setting your intentions for what you are going to accomplish that day and what action steps you’ll need to take to honor your priorities. End your day by relaxing — away from screens — so your brain calms down and allows for restful sleep. The blue light emitted by screens (cell phones, computers, tablets, and televisions) restrain the production of melatonin, the hormone that controls your sleep/wake cycle or circadian rhythm. Reducing melatonin makes it harder to fall and stay asleep.

Use your phone more wisely. In addition to paying attention to how much time you spend on your phone, examine what you are using it for. Are you on social media all day? Reading time-wasting news flashes? Or is your phone a tool for productive industry research and meaningful connections with clients or others you work with? Evaluate how you use your phone and maximize the activities most beneficial to you and your work.

Schedule your week. If you use your phone for work, schedule time for important things other than phone time. I teach a weekly planning process in my free webinar, Managing Priorities. This process will revolutionize your work and personal life, because it will help you get clear about what’s most important and plan your time so you stay focused on your priorities.Part of your planning can include what you post on social media. For example, if you use Instagram to attract followers so you can sell your product or service, plan what you will be posting for the coming month. There are several social media planning tools to help you schedule your posts ahead of time. When you get on social media, you are there to share your content, respond to your followers, and follow up with posts.

Keep it fun! If you use your phone to help you relax with a fun game, reading or connecting with friends, don’t cut that time out. Just be intentional about how you use your time and don’t allow it to get out of control. Schedule breaks to use your phone so you aren’t tempted to do so during your work time.

Your phone can be a great productivity tool when used properly and in moderation. By planning your day and having clarity about how you will use your phone throughout the day, you’ll be much more productive.

During the holiday season, we have many opportunities to connect with those we love. Be mindful of ways in which your phone can serve as a barrier to connecting with others. Will you take advantage of that time together, or will you miss opportunities? It’s up to you.

One of the great joys of being a coach is that I get to journey with my clients as they create the work and play they are most passionate about. When your passion, talents and skills intersect, there is no limit to what’s possible for you!

If you’d like to explore the possibility of working with me as your coach to sort out your priorities and how you can work and live more productively, let’s schedule a no-cost, no-pressure Discovery Call today. If I am not the right fit for you, I’ll offer some recommendations to get you connected with the right coach or other resources.