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What You See is What You'll Get

“The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision
the fact that you can do something, you can do it,
as long as you really believe 100 percent.”
--Arnold Schwarzenagger

Humans have this amazing ability to align our actions with our expectations.  It’s called a “self-fulfilling prophecy.”  Here's some self-talk I typically hear coming from my clients as we begin our work together…

…I’m so disorganized.
…I’m always running behind.
…I can never find anything when I need it.
…I’ll never remember to do that.

If you believe in self-fulfilling prophecy and this is your self talk, then what you see (in your mind) is what you'll get!  In other words, if you keep telling yourself that you are disorganized, always late, can’t find anything, and will forget to follow up, then it’s no wonder that this describes your life.

September is Self-Improvement Month…a great opportunity to take inventory of what’s stopping you from getting, being, doing, or having what matters most.   Here’s a powerful inquiry for you to take on this month:

What would be possible if you expected or imagined your future to be better than your present?  

Your expectations and actions will align to realize whatever future you envision for yourself!  If you’d like to read more about the power of visualization, read my newsletter article, Are You’re an Olympian Thinker?, which tells how numerous Olympic athletes have used visualization to achieve amazing results.

When I wanted to begin an exercise program, I asked myself this powerful question:  What will be possible if I promise myself to work out 3-4 times per week?  My response:  improved strength, weight loss, a more balanced life, improved cardiovascular health, better bone density, improved muscle tone, stress reduction, improved self-esteem, more flexibility, and more energy. 

Then I asked myself:  What will it cost me to NOT make this promise to myself?  My response:  weakness, weight gain as I get older, poor cardiovascular health, deteriorating bone density and muscle tone, stress, poor self-image, less flexibility, and low energy.  I now have a clear vision of what will happen if I choose to exercise and what will happen if I choose not to exercise. 

Our actions follow whatever we're focused on.  For example, if you are driving a car and you begin looking at something off to the right, what happens to the car? You begin steering the car in the direction you are looking!  Another example…Do NOT think about a purple elephant sitting in the middle of your living room!   What are you imagining right now? 

Take full responsibility for expecting your future to be as you want it to be.  Whether consciously or unconsciously, you attract everything that shows up in your life by choosing your expectations and commitments.  If you don’t like your present circumstances, you have the ability to decide how to alter your course.  You are the sole architect of your future.  What do YOU see when you look at your architectural life plan?

During a recent coaching call, a client shared in exasperation, “I get distracted so easily that I just can’t follow through with what I plan.”  I reminded my client that telling herself she can’t change only reinforces what she doesn’t want. 

Examine your self-talk.  How often do you say, “I can’t…”?  How’s that working for you? 

Perhaps it’s time to renew and renegotiate some of your commitments, and create a plan to support you in honoring those commitments to yourself and to others.

If you feel like you don't have enough time in your life, take a few minutes to respond to these questions:

• What do you really want for yourself over the next six months?  Identify what you are most passionate about in your life.
    

•   What’s stopping you from doing these things?
    

• What are your expectations for your future?  Imagine that things are already the way you want them to be and write down the results you expect in each of the following areas, in specific and measurable terms.
  • Health & Wellness
• Relationships
• Prosperity
• Personal Growth
    
• What negative beliefs or expectations do you have which could sabotage your results?
    
• What will it cost you to not achieve your expectations?
    
• What do you choose to consistently do in order to achieve your expectations in each of the areas identified above?
    
• When you catch yourself wasting time, what are some other things you would rather do?  Make a list of "better things to do."  For example, if you surf the Internet more than you wish to, have a list of "better things to do" posted next to your computer. If you watch too much TV at home, keep a list of "better things to do" next to the remote control.
    
• What requests can you make of family and friends who will support your efforts to achieve what you want?

Planning is an essential part of the formula for any change that you want to make in your life.   Create your road map by setting aside an hour each week for planning how you will invest your 168 hours for the coming week. Read our article, Take Back Your Time, for more tips.

As you live your week, remember your intentions.  What are the rewards for following through?  What are the costs if you choose not to follow through? 

Got everything done. Died anyway.
-Epitaph of a toxically successful person

Remember this truth…

Every time you say YES to someone or something, you are saying NO to someone or something else.

What do you choose to say YES to in your life?

What are you willing to let go of in order to make room for that burning YES within?

* * * * * * * * *

How do we respond to Hurricane Katrina?

I did not address Hurricane Katrina above because I wrote the article a couple weeks before Katrina began unleashing its fury.  I'm adding a few comments (Sept. 6) after having just returned from a 10-day trip across the country to take our daughter to college.  

My heart is very heavy right now.  In addition to adjusting to being an empty-nester, I've been watching hours of televised coverage and reading about the completely inadequate response by our elected officials to the largest natural disaster in US history.  I'm sad, angry, disappointed, and ashamed that the richest nation on earth has failed our most vulnerable citizens  -- the poorest of the poor and the sick. My heart goes out to those heroic relief workers who are doing their level best to rescue the victims or provide essentials and medical care with so little resources and in such a dangerous environment.

Rather than focusing on where to point blame for the woefully inadequate response, I choose to focus on what I can do to help to the hundreds of thousands of people who feel utterly devastated as they try to put their shattered lives back together. 

A colleague and client of mine lives in New Orleans. Although her home is still dry and sustained only minor damage (she is among the 20% minority), her city is gone and she cannot return home.  Her business as she knew it is gone. She has moved in with her parents in a city two hours from her home, and she is sorting out her options.  And she is one of the "lucky" ones.

One of the things that makes America so great is our ability to give so generously in times of need.  Although this disaster seems bigger than life, I hope you don't give in to thinking you can't do enough to make a difference. You can and will make a difference!   If each of us does something, we will make a huge difference...even if each of us only makes a difference to one person.  Imagine if you were that one person.

Take action that goes above and beyond what you've ever done
before. Go outside of your comfort zone. Write a bigger check or open your home to someone who has lost theirs.  If you don't have material resources to share, donate your time or services or put on a fundraiser.

If you want to help but are not sure how, here are a few well-established legitimate organizations you can donate to (and your donation will be tax-deductible):

• American Red Cross
• MercyCorps
• Salvation Army USA

A National Emergency Resource Registry has been created to register people who stand ready to provide housing, transportation, services, food, and personal items to victims of the disaster.  If you want to help, go to www.nerr.gov to learn how, or click here to register. The NERR stands ready to assist the coordination efforts between the resources that are needed and the resources that may be available from the private and public sectors.   If you or your organization / agency / corporation have resources or services that may be made available to the response agencies, please list them in this Resource Registry.

SCAM ALERT

Whenever there is a major disaster, scammers begin taking advantage by sending out charity relief scams.  Online scammers continue to join the looters as more of the Hurricane Katrina scams make their way around the Net.

With all of the devastation, we are already seeing many kinds of scams specific to Hurricane Katrina.  Here are some scams to watch out for:

• Chain letters: According to Anne Mitchell, aka Aunty Spam, the first email hoax was a request to forward the hoax because fifty cents would supposedly be donated to help victims for every copy of the email forwarded.

 

• Phishing scams: According to the Washington Post, a number of fraudulent websites have already been set up pretending to be legitimate Hurricane Katrina relief organizations. These sites request charitable donations, but in fact steal financial information and may be used for identity theft as well. Contributions, of course, go into the pockets of the scammers rather than to help people who desperately need it.

 

• New viruses and trojans: Spam is sent that includes photos of disaster areas or individual survivors, and these attachments contain computer viruses.  For example, the Trojan, Cgab, is now related to a Hurricane Katrina email that is making the rounds. It provides full access to the victim's PC. According to CNN Money, the email headlines include: "Re: g8 Tropical storm flooded New Orleans" and "Re: g7 80 percent of our city underwater."

 

• Investment and security scams: According to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), emails are already making the rounds that tout specific stocks on the basis of activity related to Hurricane Katrina.  For example, one email says that investors could more than double their money in just days on certain penny stocks because of "refinery glitches."

 

• Misleading emails trying to take advantage of the disaster to sell unrelated products.  For example, I saw one that was trying to sell Viagra.  The subjet line read "80 percent of our city underwater" and went on to describe the devastation.  When you click on the "read more" it takes you to a Viagra site.

 

• Requests for individual donations to help their family members: One spam message of this type had two different spellings of the scammer's first name!  Only give to individuals if you personally know and trust the source requesting the assistance. 

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