Paauwer Tools is a Monthly Ezine
September, 2002
Issue 31

“Vacation isn’t about where you go or what you do;
it’s about who you are being while you’re there.”
--Kathy Paauw

Summer vacations are typically a time for escape, rest, and relaxation.  They can also be a time for learning, adventure, stretching yourself out of your comfort zone, getting a fresh perspective, and reconnecting with yourself and with those you love. 

The word vacation comes from the word vacate – to withdraw from occupancy, surrender possession, or relinquish.  For some, “vacating” from work can be difficult. If you’ve ever found yourself spending vacation time reading email, checking for voice messages at work, or conducting business from afar, then you’ve been remotely sucked back into the office.  Your body may be on vacation, but your brain is still back at work!  And that’s time you’re not spending with your family/friends or truly relaxing and letting go.  As one who sometimes struggles with “letting go,” I speak from a voice of experience. 

In July my husband, sixteen-year-old daughter and I went on a completely different kind of summer vacation than we’ve ever taken before.  I must say that I truly “let go” of my work and my business the entire time we were away.  I had to…there was no technology where we went!  Without the lure of technology, life-changing experiences awaited us.

My family went on a one-week mission trip to Vicente Guerrero – a town on the Baja peninsula in Mexico, about 175 miles south of San Diego.  Our mission team included 11 kids from our church youth group (ages 13-17) and six adult leaders.  The sponsoring organization was Youth With a Mission.  The purpose of our trip was to build a house for a family in need.  My husband Doug (an internist and a Professor of Medicine at the University of Washington) and Meredith (a Spanish-speaking 4^th year medical student at the UW), were two of the six adults on the trip.  Their part of the mission was to provide medical care at the local orphanage.

I must admit that I was a little anxious about going on this trip.  The week before we left, my mind raced to “what if…” .  I wondered if travel in Mexico would be safe as we drove those 175 miles of bumpy, winding, narrow roads to Vicente Guerrero. I wondered what kind of accommodations we would have to sleep in, and if we would get sick while we were there.  (We were warned not to drink anything but bottled water.)  I wondered if I’d encounter one of the insects I’d heard about that packed a nasty bite.  I wondered if I’d get head lice from the children we’d encounter, or if we’d get bitten by one of the many stray dogs who had never been vaccinated for rabies.  Knowing that Vicente Guerrero only gets 4 inches of rain a year, I wondered if my asthma would flare up in the hot, dry, dusty environment we’d be working in.  I wondered if I was up to building this house without hammering my thumb in the process.  I wondered if we’d come back home feeling exhausted after our only vacation of the summer.  Through all of this wonder, I was also very excited about going on the trip.  I had never done anything like this before, and I was ready for an adventure.

I was pleasantly surprised!  Although the drive south to Vicente Guerrero was sometimes harrowing (I did not find comfort in passing the dozens of crosses along the side of the road), we arrived safely.  The Mission where we stayed tended to all of our basic needs. The food was safe to eat, and we had plenty of bottled water, which was even provided in the bathroom for brushing our teeth. The Mission where we stayed had flushing toilets and toilet paper. And it came with a bonus…a built-in alarm clock provided courtesy of the roosters from a neighboring property! They sounded off like clockwork each morning at 4:30 AM, and by 5:15 they were in full chorus.  Although I got up earlier than normal, I felt amazingly refreshed and ready to go each day.  And I did not get head lice or get bitten by a rabid dog or a nasty insect. Nobody in our group hammered their thumbs, and nobody got violently ill.  By the end of the trip, I actually felt refreshed and energized.  Although my husband saw more patients in one week than he sees in a whole month in Seattle, he reported feeling more refreshed and energized, as well. 

I wondered how it could it be that we worked so hard, never “slept in” as we normally do when on vacation, and yet we felt more refreshed than usual.  Then it occurred to me that perhaps a big part of this was due to the fact that we had no technology where we were. We were able to stay focused on our purpose without the distraction of telephones, faxes, email, or pagers.  And our group of 17 felt more connected than ever before.  We debriefed nightly at campfires on the beach (the Pacific Ocean was just two miles from the Mission) instead of watching TV, doing Instant Messaging, or playing Nintendo.

Before I tell you more about our mission trip experience, I will share something that happened just before we departed…something that affected me deeply.

I received an email from a friend of mine, informing me that her 25-year-old daughter had just committed suicide.  I called my friend and we spoke for a few minutes.  She told me that her daughter, Elizabeth, had struggled with anorexia nervosa – an eating disorder that is an outward sign of inner emotional or psychological distress – which triggered chemical changes in her brain, leading to a psychotic break that ultimately caused her to take her own life.  Elizabeth was a beautiful young woman who was cherished by many.  (I learned later that 500 people attended her memorial service.)

Elizabeth was a gifted writer, artist, and dancer.  She had been working with a company that offered seminars to assist people in living more connected, loving, joyful lives.  Her obituary stated that she worked there “because she wanted to help people heal and add more love to the world.”  What I was most struck with was her mother’s mention of some notes that Elizabeth had left around her apartment.

The notes said, “I am enough.” 

During our brief conversation, my friend asked me to promise that I’d tell the women and girls I encountered in Mexico that they were beautiful just as they were.  I promised her I would.  I left for Mexico with Elizabeth’s message seared into my heart:  I am enough. 

“You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
--Kahlil Gibran

I have always felt that I’ve done my part to help others who are less fortunate than I am – giving to Habitat for Humanity, monthly support of our sponsor child in the Philippines, giving to a local mission that feeds the homeless, etc.  It was not until I went on this mission trip that I realized the impact of giving in a much more personal way – giving my time and myself.

None of us on this mission trip realized that we would receive as much in return as we gave to our new friends in Mexico.  This mission trip was one of those life experiences that helped us all re-evaluate what's most important.  Little did we know that our lives would be changed as much or more than those for whom we built the house and provided medical care.

Doug and Meredith were the only ones in our group who did not build the house, as they worked daily in the medical clinic at the orphanage. (Click here to read some history about this amazing orphanage.)   Although this clinic is located in an orphanage, it offers medical care for persons of all ages.  People walk long distances to seek medical care at this clinic -- the only place for many miles where everyone who comes will be seen for free.  Pharmaceutical companies donate medicines, and those are given away to those in need.  Dr. Marco Angulo is the medical director.  Having Doug and Meredith working in the clinic all week enabled Dr. Angulo to drive a child to Ensenada for a needed medical procedure – something that would have been a real hardship to this community without others there to provide medical care in his absence.

Doug wanted to adopt this little bundle of joy from the orphanage.

Several days into our mission trip, Carly (my daughter) and I accompanied Doug and Meredith and a few other volunteers to a migrant worker camp that had no electricity or running water. We went there after dinner, knowing we had limited time before it got dark.  It was an impoverished area beyond anything I had ever seen before.  A tarp was set up in the middle of this desolate ground surrounded by shacks made of cardboard and metal scraps.  Under the tarp there were several benches and a folding table.  That was the church for this community.  The evening we were there it was to serve as a makeshift medical clinic, where Doug and Meredith would see patients.  As we drove the van into the camp along the dry dusty road, people started following us.  The line of people formed rapidly to see the doctor. 

Waiting to see the doctor at the “medical clinic” under the tarp. 
Miraculously, everyone here was able to be seen before dark.

As children started gathering around us, I asked Doug where he had put the bag of toys and candies we’d brought from home to give away.  He said, “Not now…you can give those to the children just before we leave.  If you get them out now, you’ll create a riot!”  I asked him what I was to do in the absence of any toys.  He said, “Play with them…use your imagination…hold them!” 

I do not speak Spanish.  Carly speaks just a little.  I sat down on one of the benches and suddenly felt very uncomfortable.  How would I spend the next hour or more playing with these children when I couldn’t speak their language and I had nothing to give them?  Then Elizabeth’s powerful message came to me.

I am enough!

Carly and I began to motion for the little ones to come sit with us.  A little girl with a dirty face, runny nose, wet dress, and matted hair immediately came over and sat in my lap.  I asked Carly how to say, “You are very beautiful” and then I whispered in her ear, “Tú eres muy bonita.”  A big smile appeared on her face.  She understood me!  She felt fully seen and heard and loved just as she was.  She clung to me for the next 15 minutes, stroking my face and kissing my cheek.  At that moment I knew that she and I did not need the toys or even a common language to feel happy, content, and connected.  I was giving myself, and I was enough. 

I am enough!

A little while later some of the girls started playing with my headband.  One of them took it off and put it on her head.  Several girls giggled and smiled as they placed my headband on their heads. Then they proceeded to braid my hair.  It was great fun!  In that moment it never occurred to me that I might get head lice as my headband passed from head to head. (I never got head lice!)

Around 8:00 it got dark.  There was no electricity in the area, so we had to pack up the “medical clinic” and head back to the Mission. Amazingly, everyone who came to see the doctor was seen before dark.  It was time to give away the gifts – something I had really looked forward to.

What I experienced next was my least favorite part of the entire week.  As Carly and I started giving away the toys and candies we had brought, we saw greed emerging in these loving and affectionate children we had just spent over an hour with.  They were grabbing, moving around the circle, and hiding in their pockets what we had already given them.  It was a horrible feeling to wonder if I’d given more than one toy to one child and none to another.  I’ll never forget that feeling of having to choose. 

We saw a few hungry and malnourished children, and they had no joy in their faces…only sorrow and misery.  But most of the children we saw appeared to have been adequately nourished.  The most incredible learning for me was to see these little children with so little and they were so full of joy and had such beautiful smiles -- a great reminder that material goods don't do much to make us happy -- that true happiness comes from within and is a choice. 

“Even if it's a little thing, do something for those who need help, something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here, too.”

Fifteen of us came on this mission trip to build a one-room 15’ x 15’ house.  The cement slab was already poured and dry by the time we arrived the first day.  The four walls were made of discarded garage doors from California, which needed some prep work – replacing dry rot, making adjustments for retrofitting, etc. 

We prepped the “garage door” walls .  Then we put them up and nailed them together.

In addition to building the house, we also dug a hole for the new outhouse.  The record was apparently 12 feet deep, and the kids wanted to dig to 13 feet.  The adult leaders stopped them at 8 feet, as we did not know the stability of the soil and didn’t want our kids to be buried alive!

The kids had great fun digging the hole for the new outhouse.
Note the ingenious bucket-on-a-rope system for hauling dirt up.

The outhouse we bought for our family was pre-built.  After we installed the outhouse over the hole, we added a toilet seat with a lid, a ventilation system, some fine wire mesh to cover the “window” and keep flies out, and some paint.

Pastor Jim helped install the new outhouse.

You can see the old outhouse (the odor was horrific!) here in front of the new one.
Carly (right) became friends with the neighbor girl, who just wanted to be held.

Inside this one-room house we built a collapsible table and bunk beds –
two twins on top & two doubles on the bottom.  I made curtains for the windows.

Our family consists of Dominga Flores, a 37-year-old single mother, and her five boys.  Dominga and Daniel (age 14) go to work in the fields daily picking vegetables, leaving Marco -- the 12-year-old -- to care for Eric (10), Abmael (9), and Juan (8) every day.  Marco also takes care of the five girls who live next door, whose mother also works in the fields.  There was no father present in either household, nor were they ever mentioned.  Many of the fathers have reportedly been smuggled across the border to the United States, where they can make $3 per hour as illegal immigrants.  Salary for working in the fields in Mexico is 30¢ (yes, that’s thirty cents) per hour, so the total household income for Dominga’s family is less than $100 per month to feed her family of six. 

Dominga with her five sons.  Four of the neighbors came by to help dedicate the house.
The two little girls are among those Marco takes care of daily while their mother works.

We often took breaks to play with the children, who were at home next to our construction site.  Their old home consisted of a dirt floor and a structure with no windows.  By the second half of our week there, the kids started coming over and observing our construction work.  By the end of the week they were helping us paint.  As was the case with the kids we’d seen at the outdoor “medical clinic,” these kids were full of joy and had big beautiful smiles.  Entertainment sometimes consisted of kicking a tin can around the yard.  On our second day there, we brought bubbles, toys, and pens/paper.  It was fun to watch them as they used their developed imaginations to incorporate new things into their routine.

Although none of us are professional home builders, Dominga’s new home is sturdy and functional, and to her it is a palace.  On our last day there, Dominga and Daniel took time off from work to be there for the dedication of their new home.  Dominga was overcome with joy.  We all shed a few tears together as we handed Dominga the keys to her new palace.

All seventeen of us, standing in front of Dominga’s new home. 
Her old home is the brown structure to the right.

Each one of us who went on the mission trip paid our own way.  The nominal cost per person included the purchase of all the materials needed to build the house, as well as round-trip airfare from Seattle to San Diego, the cost of our rental van for the week, the cost of some preparation meetings for our group prior to the mission trip, and room & board for one week at the Mission.  An anonymous donor from our church contributed $700 just before we left, which enabled us to purchase these additional items for our family: materials to build bunk beds and a table, a power pole and electrical wiring for the house, material for curtains, a second window for good cross-ventilation, and extra features in the outhouse (toilet seat with lid, venting pipe, etc.).  We were also able to purchase some other basics such as a broom & dustpan, rake, garbage can, some kitchen utensils, and a soccer ball for the kids.

Perhaps the most important thing we purchased with the additional money was school uniforms and shoes for the kids.  In Mexico school is mandatory, but so are shoes and clean uniforms.  For families who do not have the money to meet these requirements, an education is out of reach.  Kids must also have a birth certificate in order to enroll in school.  Many of the migrant workers do not have such documents, so the kids are not allowed to go to school.  Money is also necessary to secure these documents.  Dominga’s kids now have what they need to enroll in school.

I encourage others to consider doing mission work.  There are so many needs and it is such gratifying work.  I’m glad I chose to do this for my summer vacation this year.  As strange as it sounds, it was one of the most refreshing vacations I’ve been on, perhaps because I truly “vacated” from my work and responsibilities at home. It was also one of the most economical vacations we’ve been on in a long time. This won’t be the last mission trip we do!

Our family plans to return to Vicente Guerrero next summer.  My husband is already talking to other medical professionals who are interested in being part of a medical mission at the orphanage.  The staff there have requested that I come back to organize the pharmaceuticals.  They have an entire warehouse of donated medicines, and they don’t know what they have and where to find it when they need it.  Since I have professional expertise in organizing medical offices, I will implement the Paper Tiger, a software program that helps you find anything you file or store in five seconds or less.  With the Paper Tiger loaded onto their clinic computer, they will be able to know what medicines they have and where they are stored.  A colleague of mine (another Professional Organizer and Paper Tiger Authorized Consultant), who is originally from Mexico and speaks Spanish as her native language, has expressed interest in accompanying me to implement the software and help organize the clinic.

A tiny portion of the medicines that need
to be organized at the medical clinic.

As I thought about Elizabeth’s struggle to feel seen and heard and loved, I recalled a powerful story I’d received months ago in an email:

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a crisp $20 bill.  In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up.

He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.” He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, “Who still wants it?”  Still the hands were up in the air.

”Well,” he replied, “What if I do this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. “Now who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air.

”My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.  We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value: dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you.”

”The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.
You are special - don't ever forget it.”

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Copyright © 2002 Kathy Paauw, All Rights Reserved.