“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to go out
to the forest to gather wood, saw it, and nail the planks together.
Instead, teach them the desire for the sea.”
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

As we start the tenth month of the year, you may vaguely recall a New Year’s resolution that has hit America’s “top three” list for several years in a row -- getting organized!  Many people renew this resolution annually, with little or no real progress made from one year to the next. 

So why do some people stick with their resolutions, while others allow their intentions to fall by the wayside?  Because intentions aren’t enough. 

Clients I’ve worked with have expressed a strong need to get organized for quite some time -- often for years -- but there’s always something more pressing that requires their time, energy and resources.  The same often holds true for making healthy lifestyle changes such as improving diet, increasing exercise, getting more sleep, and reducing stress.  It’s so easy to put important but not urgent intentions off another week, another month, or even another year.  So what is the catalyst that enables one to get organized or practice good self-care and stick to it?

Motivation

“Motivation is what gets you started.
Habit is what keeps you going.”
--Jim Rohn

I’ve helped hundreds of clients to get organized.  Some are able to maintain the systems we set up and some are not.  Although I customize each system to the client’s needs, the basic elements and organizing principles are the same.  So why does a good customized system work so well for some and fall apart for others?  It almost always comes down to motivation.  When I get calls from prospective clients who say they want to get organized, I often ask, “What’s motivating you to get organized at this time?  What will be possible once you get organized?”  I ask these questions because I have learned that without a compelling reason, there’s little or no motivation for my clients to change the habits necessary for lasting results.  We are motivated to change something by one of two things:  the ability to increase pleasure or decrease pain in our lives.

The Focus-Energy Matrix below, outlined in Beware the Busy Manager, by Heike Bruch and Sumantra Ghoshal, provides insight as we look at four types of people – those who are disengaged, distracted, procrastinators, or purposeful. 

According to the matrix, 50 percent of all managers have high energy and 50 percent have low energy.  Only 30 percent of managers have high focus, versus 70 percent with low focus.  Managers with high energy and high focus are purposeful.  They are driven by their desires rather than by guilt, coercion, fear, anxiety, tension, or exhaustion. 

Please click the matrix below to view a larger version.

Desire is a very powerful motivator. When we spend time and energy focusing on our strengths, motivation is high.  Unfortunately, many goals are set independent of motivation.  Here are a few case studies that exemplify this.

When someone has high self-awareness about their values and desires, they are able to set goals that will enable them to be more purposeful.  Without goals we can easily fill our schedules with appointments and activities that represent other people’s priorities – hardly what we would describe as desire.

 

Follow Your Bliss

“The happiest are those who have made a profession
and a lifestyle of being in touch with their bliss; the most
frustrated are those who have accepted one job or another
because they didn’t know what else to do,  and once employed
have never had the time to figure how to get out.”
-- John Lane, Timeless Simplicity

My daughter, Carly, is in the process of finalizing her list of colleges she will apply to for next year. When people learn that she is a senior in high school, most ask her a few questions that she dreads hearing, because she does not have the answers:  Where will she go to college?  What does she plan to major in?  What does she want to do with her life?

In sixth grade, I remember Carly’s entire class being asked to complete this sentence:  “When I grow up, I’m going to be a _____.”  Her peers finished the sentence by listing professions such as doctor, lawyer, firefighter, astronaut, pilot, actor, rock star, or pro basketball player.  Carly’s completed sentence read like this:  “When I grow up, I’m going to be an adult.”  I asked her about her statement – clearly different from everyone else’s in her class -- and she said, “How would I know what I’m going to be when I grow up?  I’m only in sixth grade!”   I told her I thought that was a very wise response, since many college graduates are not even able to answer that question.

Our culture seems to value labels and titles…especially ones that provide status.  As a result, I believe that many people pursue careers because they’re following the advice and expectations of others, rather than searching their own heart for the answer to that question.  As my daughter reflects on these questions now, she is not yet clear where her values and desires will lead her and what path she will choose.   With an open mind, she is exploring her gifts of creativity and her desire to help others, without feeling that she must answer that question at the tender age of 18.  My greatest hope is that she will follow her bliss and will choose a path that will be most meaningful and fulfilling to her.  Too many people pursue fields because they think they should, not because it’s what they desire.  

John Lane, author of Timeless Simplicity, tells us that “the happiest are those who have made a profession and a lifestyle of being in touch with their bliss; the most frustrated are those who have accepted one job or another because they didn’t know what else to do, and once employed have never had the time to figure how to get out.  Human beings are unmeasurable; the imprisoned spirit only chafes against the bars of its own cage.”

Can you relate to this quote?  I sure can!  I accepted a job straight out of college – partly because my husband and I needed the income while he was in medical school, and partly because I did not know what else to do.  I chafed against the bars of my own cage on a previous career path for 13 years, until I realized that I was the only one who held the key to the lock … and I set myself free. 

If you’d like to read more about topics discussed in this issue, please visit these related Paauwer Tools newsletters:

 

National Public Radio interview...

In September Kathy was interviewed by NPR on the topic Organizing Your Desk.  Click here to hear the 10-minute interview, conducted by nationally recognized Certified Financial Planner and Investment Advisor Steven L. Pomeranz, host of "On the Money!" radio on NPR.

 

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