Freedom to Choose

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life…Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.”
-Steve Jobs

As we celebrate Independence Day in the States, I am reminded of the many choices we are so blessed to have.  We have the great fortune of choosing our own life work.

Years ago, before I started my own business, I remember how frustrated I was with a number of areas in my life.  There were several things about my work that I really disliked.  As an employee, I had a limited voice in terms of identifying the priorities of my daily activities.  My work hours, vacation days, amount of income I earned, types of responsibilities I held – these were largely determined by someone else.  But they were ultimately determined by me, because I chose to be employed in the position I held with the employer I worked for.

For 13 years, I chose to stay in a stressful career that I did not find fulfilling. But the more time I invested in that career path, the less at choice I felt. At one point I took an exam to receive a special certification in my field. When I passed the exam and was certified, I felt like there was no turning back! I told myself, "I can't leave this field now…look how much I've invested in it!"  And besides, I had no idea what else I could possibly do. I did not recognize all the choices I had.  One day I felt so stressed and unhappy that I quit my job. Fear had held me back, until the pain of not making a change outweighed the fear of the unknown.

I was tired of complaining about not having enough time or money.  I was tired of tolerating some of the people I worked with. When I examined my values -- what is most important to me at the core – I recognized that I had the freedom to choose based on my own values, versus being influenced by the limiting beliefs, circumstances, and opinions of others.  

The day I quit my job was the beginning of a long and wonderful journey. Somewhere along the way, I came to realize that life is full of so many choices.  Most of the “have to’s” are only present if we allow them to be. 

If you are not happy and fulfilled by your current work or circumstances, this article is written for you. I invite you to evaluate your situation and proactively make some different choices.

Take Responsibility for Yourself!

"Independent will is our capacity to act. It gives us the power to transcend
our paradigms, to swim upstream, to rewrite our scripts, to act based on
principle rather than reacting based on emotion or circumstance."
-Stephen Covey

The limitations on our lives are mostly self-imposed.  Playing the victim only hurts you.  Quit blaming others and take responsibility for your life starting right now! 

We have been given the ability to examine our conscious thoughts and choose how we react in any given situation. We learn at a very early age that if we act a certain way, we will achieve a certain result.

Often the result we opt for is safety. And safety is necessary to preserve our physical well-being. However, our desire to be "safe" sometimes paralyzes our ability to exercise our free will. From childhood on, most of us have been programmed to "play it safe," and this often affects the choices we make as adults. We tell ourselves, "That was so disappointing before, so I better not take that chance again."

Do you allow your fear of hurt, rejection, or failure to determine how much risk you are willing to take? What is the cost of doing this? Perhaps you're stuck in a job or career path you hate, or you are in a relationship that does not serve you, or you've chosen not to pursue a relationship you want. Do you struggle with low self-esteem and self-confidence? If so, you are probably severely hampering your ability to manifest what you want in your life by convincing yourself that you should not try, or that you do not deserve what you really want. Our choices are strongly influenced by our disempowering emotions. By learning to recognize and step out of experiencing these emotions, a whole new world of possibility will be available to you.

You create the life you have by the choices you make.  Your choices are made based on what you think and what you feel.  So if you want something in your life to change, you must start by choosing different thoughts.  As you think different, you will start to feel different, which will affect the choices you make and the actions you take.

When you follow your passions, what looks like walls will turn into doors.  Start with a dream that is personal and small.  Then dream bigger dreams, and keep dreaming until you have one that seems impossible to achieve.  As Josie Bissett once said, “Dreams come a size too big so that we can grow into them.”

Think of your own gifts like seeds that you’ve been given.  You can plant those seeds and cultivate them to harvest.  In doing so, you will feed many people.  Your seeds represent anything that can improve someone else’s life – your time, talents, information, and resources.

What is the seed you are holding onto?  What do you have to give away or release into the world?  You have to plant it before you will reap from the harvest. 

Proactively Attract What You Want!

"Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice."
-Stephen Covey

Are you waiting for life to be handed to you on a silver platter, or are you creating your own opportunities?  Success is not a matter of luck, but of creation and attraction. We attract what we give thought, energy, and emotional energy to.

There has been a lot of buzz around the Law of Attraction, especially since Oprah aired a show about it in February (read my article called What's The Secret?).  One of the most powerful ways to proactively attract what we want is with the use of I AM statements.  Be careful with these, because an I AM statement can be positively or negatively charged. 

Months ago I created an I AM statement that I was not even aware of:  “I am overwhelmed.”  That became my unintentional mantra.  And guess what?  I felt totally overwhelmed and consumed, and did not realize how I was perpetuating that by repeating that statement to myself.  As soon as I became aware, I replaced that message with this one:  “I have all the time I need for what’s most important to me.”

Did this statement change the number of choices I have for how I spend my time?  No...I actually have more options on my plate than I have had in years.  The difference is that I choose to say no to some of them rather than perpetuating a sense of overwhelm.  As a result, I have all the time I need for what’s most important to me. 

I feel totally different than I did when I was telling myself that I was overwhelmed, and I have made room in my schedule for something very important to me.  I was a music major in college.  For 22 years I have put performance opportunities on the back burner...until now.   I was recently cast in The Sound of Music and am spending quite a bit of time rehearsing for 15 performances in September. 

I believe that each of us has been gifted with our own unique combination of talents, and it is our responsibility as good stewards of those talents to freely share them with others.  The key to professional success is to show up and serve, since that is how your value is expressed and received in the world.

What do you really want?

Project yourself into the future a year from now.  Now describe your life as you want it to be, using multiple I AM (or I HAVE) statements for each of these areas of your life. Write them down.

Health & wellness

I am…

Example:  I have all the time I need for what's most important to me.

Relationships

I am…

Example:  I am a dream life partner.  My spouse and I share a very close and intimate bond that continues to grow.

Prosperity

I am…

Example:  I am attracting wealth and abundance.  I am the recipient of all the good I'm doing in the world.

Personal growth     

I am…

Example:  I am an insiprational writer and best-selling author of a book/CD combo that inspires others in word and song.

Read your I AM statements at least once a day.  They will change your life! 

“All that we are is a result of what we have thought.”
-Buddha