In Memory of Nina

On December 27, my dear friend and colleague, Nina Bondarook, had a massive stroke.  She died on December 30 at the age of 57.  I had enjoyed dinner with her just one week prior. 

Nina was one of the most giving people I have ever known.  She was always available to assist others and offer her expertise.  She was masterful at finding the best in people, recognizing what their unique gifts were, and then encouraging them to share those gifts with others.  A couple years ago she founded a group of entreprenurial women in the greater Seattle area, who help others launch and grow businesses through networking, education, mentoring, community involvement and discounted consulting services.

Nina was a brilliant and multi-talented woman with a huge heart.  If you were to speak with any of her friends, each one would tell you that they felt special and cherished by her. She had a way of making each person she knew feel special.

Nina had found her passion and was living life to the fullest...and burning the candle at both ends. Unfortunately, self-care was not high on her priority list.  I would frequently encourage Nina to get more sleep and take better care of herself.  She always responded by saying that she was doing fine. She was too busy taking care of everyone else, including two rescue dogs with major health challenges.

Nina's unexpected death reminds me of the importance of three things:

1. Practice extreme self-care.  It's not selfish to do so…it's responsible.  If we are not healthy (or alive), we are not available to serve others. Self-care includes living a life that balances the pursuit of happiness, health and wealth.

2. Find out who you are—what makes your heart sing—so you can show up and serve others with your gifts and talents. Begin today to leave the legacy you were created for.  Don't wait until everything is in perfect alignment to get started.

3. Begin each day by expressing gratitude to someone you love or appreciate.  Don't wait until someone's memorial service to say all the nice things about them.  Tell them now.   

On December 20, Nina treated members of the Startup Sisters group to a holiday dinner. I returned home that evening and sent her a card to express gratitude for the wonderful dinner party she had hosted, and to let her know how much her friendship and support meant to me.  I am so glad that I did not wait to send this card.  One week later she had her stroke, and three days later she was gone.

In memory of Nina, I recommit to honoring my intentions to the best of my ability in 2013.

What is your intention for 2013?

As you think about the direction you want your life to go in the coming year, here are some questions to ask yourself.

1. If you knew that today was the last day of your life, how would you feel about your life right now?  Are you living a life that would end with regrets or victories? What action will you take today to adjust the path you are on?

2. What special skills, talents and passions are you sharing with others?  Have you resigned to living a life of mediocrity rather than pushing yourself to reach mastery in an area that makes your heart sing? Have you fully utilized your talents and reached your full potential?  If not, what actions will you take, starting today, that will move you in the direction of sharing the talents you've been given?

3. Who have you inspired by the example that you have set?  Is your life about building people up or tearing people down? What value are you contributing to the lives of the people you are lucky enough to serve? How are you contributing in a way that will leave this world a better place than you found it?

4. What risks have you taken in order to accomplish or contribute something important? When have you allowed fear to hold you back from taking bold risks?  What will you do, beginning today, to conquer your greatest fears and manifest your highest visions?

5. Are you living the life that society has trained you to want, or are you leading the life that you truly desire?  What new trails will you blaze this year, or will you take the path of least resistance and follow old roads that lead to nowhere?

Life is way too short to live a life of "If only…" and "I wish I could but …".  

You can begin right now to make some changes in your life, or you can look back with regret a year from now. You must face your fears and take action. Sitting on the sidelines watching life pass you by will only get you mediocrity.  

Life was not intended to be a spectator sport.  We are designed for greatness.  We are designed to grow, develop and prosper.  We are designed to take action.

Take Action Now!

The subtle, consistent action steps will collectively make a difference over the next year. Whatever your goals are for this year, break them down into bite-sized pieces. What do you need to do each month, each week and then each day in order to accomplish your goals or manifest your intentions?

As you set goals, check your self-talk.  Focus on what you choose to do, not what you should, gotta or have to do.  Although this may not sound very important, keeping yourself out of the victim role is vital to your success.  Be at choice with whatever goals you set, and quit shoulding on yourself.. This will help you guard against setting goals that society has placed on you, rather than goals that reflect what you truly desire.

Track your progress. Get a journal and track the steps you have taken each day.  To keep your life balanced, set some goals, intentions and plans in place for each of the following areas of your life:

• Personal Relationships
• Fitness / Health
• Spiritual
• Financial
• Business / Career
• Fun / Happiness / Hobbies

Finally, connect with an accountability partner.  I have written a separate article about how to design this relationship and who to look for in a partner.  Click here to read it.

Regardless of your present circumstances, the coming year will be whatever you make of it.  Make it a great year!  Begin by being grateful for what you have right now (versus focusing on what you don't have) and taking daily baby steps to honor your intentions.