This time of year, many people talk about their New Year’s Resolutions…and by Valentine’s Day, most of those goals to lose weight, save money, or get organized have already fallen by the wayside.

Rather than asking you to list your New Year’s Resolutions, I suggest you try something different – write down your intentions for the coming year.

What’s the difference between identifying your goals and your intentions?

My friend and colleague, Robert MacPhee, has written a wonderful little book called Manifesting for Non Gurus: How to Quickly & Easily Attract Lasting Results. In his book, he takes us deeper than simply focusing on what we want. He asks the question, “What are you intending to attract?” Robert believes that “want” represents things we wish to HAVE rather than focusing on how we wish to BE. For example, you may WANT to eat some junk food, and that does not support your intention to BE healthy.

We’ve all heard the saying, “perception is reality.” Your perception of reality is what creates your reality. The key to changing your reality is to shift your focus. Here’s an interesting exercise that exemplifies the power of focus:

Tell someone your life story or a life experience as if it were a tragedy, emphasizing all of the terrible aspects of that experience.

Now, tell the same story as an uplifting and delightful experience, focusing on all the good aspects of that same experience.

The actual facts do not change, but what you choose to focus on when you tell the story makes a huge difference in how you feel about your circumstances. Telling the same story the second time around, you’ll probably find that you focus more on who you are being than on what actually happened.

We are human beings, not human doings.

In Robert’s book, he suggests that you begin by being clear and grounded about who you are. Then connect with the feelings and emotions associated with accomplishing your intentions. Most people focus on what they do first, rather than focusing on who they are being and allowing that to determine what they do.

Declare your intentions – what you'd like to do, be, or have in each of these areas of your life. As you write down your responses, do not focus on how you will achieve your intentions. Eighty percent of your job is focusing on your intention and twenty percent of your job is taking action. If you are not clear about the “how,” your focus will provide you with inspiring ideas for the next actions to take.

• Contribution / legacy – career, volunteer work, hobbies
• Relationships – family & friends
• Health – physical, mental, spiritual
• Prosperity – finances, lifestyle, time
• Environment – local, global, personal
  
  
  

Are You Attached to the Outcome?

Letting go of the attachment to an outcome is also very important. This is not the same as being apathetic. Apathetic people do not care about the outcome and are resistant to taking action. Those who let go of the attachment are still focused on intention and are ready to take necessary actions.

Pay attention to whether or not you have an attachment. MacPhee suggests that you look for these signs that you may be attached:

1. Needing to know HOW. Thinking about HOW you will manifest an intention can slow you down and get in the way. If you hear self-talk that you should do something a certain way or by a certain time, or that you should take a specific step in order to “get” what you want, you are attached. Think of driving at night and your destination is 20 miles away. At night you can only see a couple hundred feet in front of you. You don’t have to see the whole 20 miles at once to get from point A to point B. 
   
   
2. Needing something NOW. Being attached to having something right now is not very helpful. Imagine talking with a car salesman who really needs to make a sale today in order to qualify for a month-end bonus (he’s attached to the outcome). Your experience would be vastly different if the salesman’s focus was on what was best for you and he was detached from whether or not he made a sale today. Which approach would make you more likely to buy from this salesman?
   
   
3. Hooking into the JUDGMENTS of others. There’s nothing wrong with considering the advice and opinions of others. However, if you feel driven by their opinions, you are attached.
   
   Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If those you allow into your inner circle would not be supportive of your intentions, perhaps it is time to consider who you spend most of your time with.
   
   
4. Hooking into your own OPINIONS of others or yourself. If you spend a large portion of your time and energy focused on judging others or yourself, your attachment to these judgments will get in the way of you manifesting your intentions. This is a tremendous energy drain.
   
   I recently experienced this myself when I had a disagreement with the way someone decided to do something I was involved in. Rather than focusing on my own intentions, I kept my focus on my judgments about what the other person was doing “wrong.” My judgments and my need to be right cost me about a week of productive work time.
   
   Here’s a great way to turn the tides when you catch your own self-defeating voice being active. Write yourself a letter about whatever topic is on your mind. There’s only one rule. You can only write down what you’ve already accomplished or what you are capable of, not what your self-defeating voice would have to say about the topic or situation. Give your voice permission to be supportive rather than self-defeating.
   
   
5. Hooking into GUILT. When our behavior does not match what we believe a good person would do, we feel guilty. To let go of the guilt, we must either change our behavior or change our beliefs about what it means to be a good person.
   
   For example, if you were raised with the belief that “money is the root of all evil,” and that belief holds you back from doing something that will create massive wealth, here are three possible options: (1) Sabotage your efforts so you don’t make so much money. (2) Do your best to manage the guilt as your income goes up. (3) Change your belief and recognize that money itself is not evil. It’s when we sacrifice who we are being for the sake of having more that we get into trouble.  We can choose to do good or evil with the money we create.
   
   
6. Hooking into FEAR. When we are afraid, we set negative goals. We imagine what we don’t want, and then we put all sorts of energy tapping into the emotions that accompany that fear. What we focus on, we get more of.  In other words, we manifest exactly what we don’t want. To overcome fear, tap into the emotion that accompanies what you DO want instead of focusing on the emotion that accompanies what you are afraid of.
   
   For example, if you are afraid of failure, search for the emotion that accompanies your perception of success. When you focus on what you want, you will establish a stronger connection to the feelings and emotions that will attract the results you desire.

Our attachment and need to control what someone else does (or doesn’t do) can actually create resistance that prevents things from changing. As a parent, I recall numerous times when I wanted my daughter to do something, and the more I focused on what I wanted, the more resistant she became to doing what I wanted. My attachment -- and the ensuing power struggles -- actually perpetuated what I didn’t want. I’ve learned that whatever I put energy into, I tend to attract more of whatever that is, whether it’s something I want or something I do not want.

Take Action!

Once you are clear about your intentions, it’s time to take action!

I’ve had clients who have told me that they just don’t know what to do in order to move forward. Sometimes I’ve said, “I know that you don’t know what to do next, but if you did know, what would it be?” They usually have an answer to that question.

If you truly don’t have any ideas about what action steps to take, put yourself in a different physical environment that will help you think outside the box.  Go to a place that inspires you.

If you prefer to brainstorm with others, ask a friend, coach, or accountability partner to help you build a list of action steps that would help you get started in manifesting your intention. Perhaps you know someone who has done what you want to do.  Share your intention with them and listen to what they suggest.

Maybe you have so many ideas that you are paralyzed by not knowing which idea to go with or where to start.  Do some planning and prioritizing.  You don’t have to do all of it right now. What’s the next single action you choose to take?  Break it into bite-sized pieces.  If it feels too big to tackle, identify one thing you can do now.  Don’t worry about it being the best or “right” next step. Just do something!

One of the most common things I hear people say is, “I don’t have enough time!”  We all get 168 hours a week.  It’s not a matter of time, but of priorities.  One of the best ways to “find” time is to devote less time to the activities that do not support your intention or are not helping you move in the direction you want to go.  You are either moving toward or away from what you choose.  Here are some ideas:

1. The Nielsen ratings tell us that statistically, the average American watches at least four hours of TV a day.  What if you gave up one or two of those hours and focused on your intention?
   
   
2. Ask for help.  Delegate some or all of the tasks which are not the best use of your time.  If your budget does not allow for hiring out, barter with others, or hire a local teenager who can do an adequate job for less cost than a “professional.”
   
   
3. Stop saying “I’ll try…”  Do it or don’t do it!  Be committed to what you say yes to, and be clear about what you say no to.
   
   
4. Get started now!  In the next 15 minutes, do something that will move you toward your intention.
   
   Raymond Aaron teaches a wonderful technique.  Set 3 types of goals – minimum, target, and outrageous.  Once you get started working on the minimum goal, the momentum may be present for you to continue working toward your target or outrageous goal.  Here is an example:
   • Minimum: I will go through one stack of papers on my desk and either toss, delegate, take action, or file it.
   • Target: I will clear my entire desk of paper piles by tossing anything that does not enhance my life, delegating what I can, taking action on what needs my attention, or filing it away for future reference.
   • Outrageous:  I will hire a Professional Organizer to help me organize my entire office.

Once you are clear about the actions you will take, share your intentions with an accountability partner. You are more likely to follow through if you work with a person who does not judge you, yet holds you accountable.

I’d love to hear how your focus on intentions vs. a focus on goals makes a difference in what you focus on this year. Please send me your stories!

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