The Present

For many people the holiday season represents a lot of stress and overwhelm. It does not have to be that way! I published an article two years ago that generated positive feedback, so I am sharing it with you again: Seven Tips to Save Time and Reduce Holiday Stress.

This month I invite you to take a look at two areas of your life…time and material possessions.  These two are closely related, as it seems that many people work harder so they can afford to buy more things. The bigger question is, do all of these things make us any happier, or are we just senselessly working ourselves into a state of overwhelm and fatigue by doing more so we can have more?

If you are feeling fatigued, some restful time is in order. It's hard to even think straight when you are fatigued.  Fatigue is the number one sign that we are not managing our energy well.  Without energy, we burn out and cannot do our best work.  Signs of burnout include feeling chronically tired, depressed, irritable, sluggish, bored, poor memory, and craving foods that are high in sugar, salt and fat. With fatigue often comes poor eating habits and inadequate exercise. If you remain in a fatigued state over time, health problems will eventually appear.

Are you in the habit of bringing work home with you or doing work-related activities while taking vacation time? If so, what's pushing you to work so hard? What would it take for you to give yourself permission to leave work at work and enjoy some free time…maybe even take a true vacation?

The word vacation comes from the word vacate: to withdraw from occupancy, surrender possession, or relinquish.  For some, "vacating" from work can be difficult.  If you've ever found yourself spending vacation time reading email, checking for voice messages at work, or conducting business from afar, then you've been remotely sucked back into the office.  Your body may be on vacation, but your brain is still back at work!  And that's time you're not spending with your family/friends or truly relaxing and letting go.  As one who sometimes struggles with "letting go," I speak from a voice of experience.

Studies have found that working more hours does not necessarily increase productivity. Note how much vacation or work time is mandated in several European countries, where productivity can be just as high (if not higher) than with counterparts working 40+ hours a week for 50 weeks a year:

• Finland legally mandates 40 days/year of paid time off (30 days of vacation plus 10 paid federal holidays).

• Germany considers 27.8 hours to be a full workweek.  Anything over that is considered "overtime."

• The Netherlands considers 27.6 hours to be a full workweek.  Anything over that is considered "overtime."  Workers also receive 16 weeks of maternity leave at full pay.

As an American, I have observed an interesting phenomenon. My grandparents came from an era where one parent typically stayed home to raise the children, prepare meals, and run the household, while the other parent worked outside the home to earn a living. Both had full-time "jobs" but only one got paid for it. Many people did not own a car, and if they did, one car per family was a luxury.  Fast forward one generation.  My parents both worked outside the home so we could enjoy a higher standard of living. Instead of one car, we had two (eventually three).  We lived in a nice home, went on nice vacations, and we owned a lot of nice "stuff." That being said, my family of origin was not very happy much of the time.

In 1900, the average person owned two pairs of shoes and two or three pairs of pants. All personal possessions could fit inside of one small suitcase. Here we are 100+ years later, and we're spending more money on self-storage to house our overflow of "stuff" than we spend on the movie industry. The stress of working hard to acquire all that "stuff" took its toll on my father, and he had a fatal heart attack back in 1981 at the age of 47.

I am not suggesting that women should stay home and raise babies, or that there's anything wrong with a two-income family. I have been a career woman my whole life and I would not want it any other way. I am also not suggesting that there is anything wrong with owning nice things and going on vacations. What I am suggesting is that each of us look at our own life/balance issues and decide what's most important and what we need to adjust to have a healthy balance between work and play.

If you have been trading time for money and you are feeling chronically stressed and unfulfilled, it's time for you to identify ways to change that. Eight years ago I decided to make some adjustments that enabled me to leverage my time so I could enjoy life more.

Many people believe that having more money so they can buy more "stuff" will increase happiness. Having spent volunteer time in poor villages in Mexico and Tanzania, I can tell you that as long as basics are covered (adequate food, shelter, clothing, and health care), people can be very happy and fulfilled with few material possessions.

In my work as a Life Coach, I have become increasingly aware of the growing sense that many individuals feel like they're running as fast as possible but not getting where they want to go. There is something resting at the core of all of this--the lens through which we view our lives--also known as a paradigm.

The old paradigm subscribes to the belief that what we HAVE determines who we will BE. Some of my happiest and most fulfilled clients are those who HAVE very little money and earthly possessions. And some of my most unhappy and unfulfilled clients have been those who HAVE an abundance of money and material goods.

Happiness and fulfillment is not created by material wealth or possessions -- what we HAVE -- but rather by who we are BEING and what we are DOING. I'm not suggesting that we all take a vow of poverty. There's nothing wrong with HAVING things. The problems arise when we sacrifice who we are BEING for the sake of HAVING more. When we do that, we will never HAVE enough.

This year Black Friday sales started earlier than I can ever remember. Some started at 5 AM on Thanksgiving Day! Merchants are rushing to entice people to buy early and get the best deals, so they can buy even more "stuff." Does that bring us happiness and fulfillment, or does it just add stress and create a greater sense of overwhelm during the holiday season?

Here's an idea! As you are shopping for someone who already has a lot of "stuff," consider giving an Alternative Gift. A number of charities offer gift catalogs of things you can "purchase" through them so they can better serve those in need. With recent hurricanes and tornadoes, there are many people in need, and an Alternative Gift can save you time and stress, provide a thoughtful way to honor someone you care about, and help those in need.

The following International charities will provide you with a card that you can give to the person you gave the Alternative Gift in honor of, or they will send them something to let them know that you gave a gift to their charity in honor of them. If you are not familiar with a local charity offering Alternative Gift ideas, here are links to some gift catalogs from a few International charities that are doing some wonderful work:

• Heifer International
• Red Cross
• Mercy Corps
• World Vision

Here's my year-end gift to you. Time is something that gives all of us a level playing field. We all get 168 hours a week. How you choose to invest that time will determine a great deal for your future. There are 86,400 seconds in a day. Make every second count! Time waits for no one. Click here to watch a powerful three minute video about the value of time.

Wishing you a blessed, peaceful, and heart-centered holiday season.