Does Fear Get in the
Way of Your Success?

Years ago, one of my online newsletter subscribers requested that I write an article about fear and how it holds us back. My first thought regarding this request was, "I don't have expertise on the subject of fear. How could I write about that?".

As I gave it more thought, I realized that I WAS an expert on fear. You see...I am a recovering perfectionist. One of the driving forces behind perfectionism is fear…usually fear of failure, embarrassment or ridicule. Fear of what someone else might think often convinces us to let go of our deepest desires.

Harold Taylor, a time management consultant and author of Making Time Work for You, says this: "You can do an adequate job in about ten percent of the time it takes to do a perfect job. Is the extra time really justified? Remember, most of us are paid to get results, not to be perfect." In other words, we need to pick and choose when we strive to do something perfectly, and then give ourselves permission to do a good enough job with everything else.

I remember hearing Oprah suggest keeping a Worry Log -- a place to write down all of your worries and fears with a date next to each entry. Then you can check back monthly to see what percentage of your worries and fears actually came true. A Worry Log provides a great reality check for those consumed by fear. After doing this for a period of weeks or months, perhaps you will choose to spend less energy and thought on your worries and fears once you recognize that most of them will never come true.

By choosing to become fear-less (giving less emphasis to your fears), you'll have more time to focus on the activities and relationships that are most important to you. In other words, you can choose to stop the negative thinking patters and re-educate your mind to think more positively and focus on what you want.

I believe there are two main obstacles that hold people back from getting what they really want from their personal and professional lives - fear and lack of focus. This month I offer tips to help you get unstuck by overcoming fear. Use the acronym FEAR to help you remember these four tips:

• Focus: What is most important to you? What does the end result look like? What steps are required to get you there?

• Explore: What are you resisting? What warning signals are present when you resist? What is the ultimate fear behind these warning signals? What's the worst thing that could happen? Even if the worst thing did happen, could you live with it?
  

• Assess: What are your options? What action do you choose to take? What's next for you? What support could you get to help you?
  

• Respond: This is where the rubber meets the road - where you choose to say "yes" to the action you have chosen for yourself. If you are not ready to act, repeat this process until you are ready to move forward.

Renowned psychotherapist Susan Jeffers has written a book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, which shows readers how to get what they want in spite of their self-sabotaging fears, turning passivity into assertiveness. The book offers suggestions about how to risk a little every day, how to turn every decision into a "no-lose" situation, and how to stop negative thinking patterns that say "I can't" and begin thinking more positively.

For thirteen years, I chose to stay in a stressful career that I did not find fulfilling. The more time I invested in that career path, the less at choice I felt. At one point, I took an exam to receive a special certification in my field. When I passed the exam and was certified, I felt like there was no turning back! I told myself, "I can't leave this field now! Look how much I've invested in it!" And besides, I had no idea what else I could possibly do.

Fear held me back until one day, the pain of not making a change outweighed the fear of the unknown.

Do you have dreams, ideas, inventions and solutions buried in your mind, on a shelf, or in storage somewhere? Have you imprisoned yourself in a room built by your own mind, constructed with four walls made of fear, doubt, procrastination and scarcity?

When we are afraid, we set negative goals. We imagine what we don't want, and then we put all sorts of energy into tapping into the emotions that accompany that fear. What you focus on, you get more of. In other words, you manifest exactly what you don't want.

To overcome fear, tap into the emotions that accompany what you do want instead of focusing on the emotions that accompany what you are afraid of. 

One of the most powerful ways to overcome fear is to reframe. Here's a simple way to do that. If you fear failure, search for the emotion that accompanies your perception of success. By focusing on your intention and visualizing a successful outcome, you'll establish a stronger connection to the feelings and emotions that will attract the results you desire. Although this sounds simple, it will have a profound effect on your outcome.

The word "crisis" is written in Chinese with two famous characters: danger and opportunity - the yin and yang. When you are afraid to do something, ask yourself, "Is my fear based on protecting myself from danger, or am I experiencing fear of failure, which prevents me from seizing opportunity?"

When your mind is filled with fear, you will shut down. When your mind focuses on "what if…" with a focus on your desired outcome, you will be open to receiving the most valuable ideas, insights, and intuitive messages. You will also attract others who will eagerly help you achieve your dreams. All you need to do is ask!

One very common fear that many people do not even think about is a fear of never finding something once it is put away or filed away...so they just leave it out and a pile is born.  If this is you, please participate in my FREE Buried in Paper webinar, which I offer monthly.  See below for details and to register for the next one. 

And now, as I prepare to send this newsletter to publication on the Web, I say to myself: "It's not perfect, and it's good enough!"