A HIGHLY EFFECTIVE LIFE

"Live, love, laugh, leave a legacy."
--Stephen R. Covey

On July 16, Stephen Covey died at the age of 79, after suffering complications from a bicycle accident he had in April. He has left a powerful imprint on my life. Two of his bestsellers are among my favorite books.

Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People sold more than 20 million copies and has been translated into 32 languages. It is considered to be one of the most important management books of all time. This book offers timeless principles that have helped me make huge personal shifts in my life over the last two decades. Another Covey favorite of mine is First Things First, a more detailed drill-down of the Third Habit mentioned in The 7 Habits.

Over the past 15 years, I have taught Covey's principles in many workshops and webinars, and I have shared some of his habits and principles in my book, The Music of Your Heart (shared in my book with permission from FranklinCovey Company). I will be eternally grateful to Stephen Covey for all that I have learned from him. His messages have touched millions of lives, and his legacy will live on through his books, recorded presentations, and the many teachers, coaches, and consultants who have studied his work.

Here are the 7 Habits that Covey taught us in his bestseller:

1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand then Seek to Be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw 

Although all seven habits are really powerful, I'm going to focus on the first three habits this month.

Habit #1:
Be Proactive

"Habit 1 is about taking responsibility for your life.
You can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents.
Proactive people recognize that they are 'response-able.' "
-Stephen Covey

I grew up in Phoenix, and our family used to drive west to a southern California beach to escape the summer heat.  Many of my summer vacations included endless hours of body boarding in the surf.

I'd swim out with my Styrofoam board and wait for the perfect wave to come along.  I learned that if I just stood still and waited for the wave to catch me, I did not go very far.  But if I started swimming toward the shore at the right time, I could catch a wave and ride it all the way in.  I needed to create some momentum so I was moving fast enough for the wave to carry me. 

I learned a powerful lifelong lesson; I had to be proactive in order to catch the wave.  Nothing would happen if I just stood still.

How have I applied this childhood lesson in my adult life?  I've learned not to wait until all the right conditions are in place or to look for the "perfect" time to get started on something.

If you want something to be different in your life, you've got to take action. Covey sums it up well: "If you keep doing what you're doing you'll keep getting what you're getting. One definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results."

Be proactive!

Habit #2:
Begin with the End in Mind

"Habit 2 is based on imagination--the ability to envision
in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes."
-Stephen Covey

By focusing on the final outcome first, you can get clearer about what it would look and feel like if you were already there. This wider focus makes it easier to see more opportunities and possibilities than we can see when we only focus on the details.

Football provides some great analogies for life. Hundreds of moves and plays are required to reach the goal, yet it is impossible to plan each play before the game begins. The players can see the goal (to win the game) and they can predict what the next few plays will be, but they can't figure out the exact moves they will make by just standing on the sideline. They must take action and continuously look for their next few moves as they keep the goal in mind. The players stay focused by remaining aware of where they are and what options are available to them. This sharp focus makes it possible to seize opportunities as they arise and ultimately win the game!

Years ago during a football game, I overheard a friend's son ask, "Why is he running backwards with the ball? Isn't the goal the other direction?" My friend explained that the football player hoped to gain yards by running backwards, because he was creating space so he could throw a long pass. That's called "beginning with the end in mind."

Habit #3:
Put First Things First

"The main thing is to keep
the main thing the main thing."
-Stephen Covey

Managing our time can require us to make tough choices. That means that sometimes we may have to say no to important activities in order to attend to even more important activities that will enable us to accomplish higher priorities.

When we embark on a journey and we aren't sure how to get there, we typically jot down travel directions. So why are we so resistant to jotting down personal or professional goals or choices that would provide a road map--or at least a compass--for our lives?

If you are not putting first things first in your life, take a moment to examine which of the following creates the greatest barrier for you:

1. Lack of clarity about your priorities--not making clear and concise choices or setting goals
2. Inability to organize your time, energy, and space around those priorities
3. Lack of discipline to execute the plan

If you lack clarity about your priorities, it's time to do some "big picture" thinking about where you want your life to be 10 or 20 years from now. If you have never written a mission or purpose statement for your life, you may want to begin working on one. FranklinCovey offers a Mission Statement Builder to help you get started. You may also be interested in attending my popular free webinar,  Buried in Paper, where you'll learn some tips for managing paper and information as it comes flying into your busy life.

If you are clear about your priorities but struggle to organize your life around those priorities, I encourage you to do some weekly planning. Check out Covey's six-step weekly planning process. Covey notes that "the key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities."

If you are clear about your priorities and you have a plan, but you are not consistently following your plan, I encourage you to pair up with an accountability partner. Click here to learn more about how to effectively set this up.

"How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most." -- Stephen R. Covey (1932-2012)

WHO DO YOU APPRECIATE?

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like
wrapping a present and not giving it." 
--William Arthur Ward

Stephen Covey's recent passing reminds me of the importance of telling those we care about how much they mean to us now. I never sent a note of gratitude to Dr. Covey to let him know how grateful I am for the difference he has made in my life. This is something I regret, and I cannot turn back the clock. I just sent a card to his wife, Sandra, to express my sympathy as well as my gratitude. She supported him through 55 years of marriage as he spent time away from her and their family while he was on the road sharing his wisdom with countless millions.

A friend of mine just shared this story with me about the power of gratitude:

"I was truly touched today when I went in for my doctor's appointment. I had sent a card to one of the nurses that had given me a hug at my last appointment, which didn't go so well. I just wanted to thank her for the hug and to let her know how much I appreciated her sweet spirit and smile. She told me today that she cried when she got my card. She reported that she'd had a hard day and my card came at just the right time. Her husband told her, "See? I told you that you're making a difference!" "She was so thankful that I appreciated her just for being who she was."  (shared with permission by Norbeth Short DeJesus)

When you begin your day by sending out gratitude, it does three things:

1. It sets a positive tone for the rest of your day.
2. It often has a profound effect on the recipient's life.
3. It affects the relationship between you and the recipient.

How would your life be different if you started each day by sending a message of gratitude to someone who has touched your life in some way? Who would you regret not having expressed gratitude to if they were suddenly gone?

Everyone loves to feel appreciated. Think of the last time you received an unexpected gesture of gratitude. How did that make you feel? Forming a daily gratitude habit will produce amazing results in your business and personal life!