Follow Your Bliss
“The happiest are those who have made a profession and a lifestyle of being in touch with their bliss; the most frustrated are those who have accepted one job or another because they didn’t know what else to do, and once employed have never had the time to figure how to get out.”
-- John Lane, Timeless Simplicity
Some of my subscribers to this ezine noticed that I did not publish a Paauwer Tools article last month -- the first time in more than 5 years that I have skipped a month. Since the first full week in March is National Procrastination Week, I usually write about that topic in my March newsletter. (You may have concluded that I was taking the procrastination theme a little too far!) The fact is, I had a lot on my plate, and I chose to take a month off rather than unduly stressing myself to get my article published.
Here’s what helped me conclude that it was time to take a month off: Late in February (near my self-imposed publication deadline), I heard myself say, “I really SHOULD write that article!” When I heard the word SHOULD, I stopped and asked myself, “Do I CHOOSE to?” Once I framed the question that way, my decision was an easy one. I chose to reduce my stress by taking that “should” off of my task list. It felt so wonderful and liberating to make that choice! I'm sharing this with you because it's related to the topic for this month – following your bliss.
If you are to follow your bliss, you must examine your self-talk to see if it supports or stands in the way of what will make your heart sing. A good clue to listen for in your vocabulary includes these words:
I should…
I gotta…
I have to...
When you hear these words in your self-talk (or from someone else), take a moment to step away from the situation and ask yourself, “What do I choose?”
One important note here...sometimes there's a big difference between what you choose to do and what you feel like doing. Be careful not to confuse the two. For example, I choose to exercise regularly to maintain good health. I do not always feel like doing it! However, if I were sick with the flu, I would choose not to exercise because my body would need rest more than exercise in order to meet my goal of maintaining good health.
Several months ago I had a conversation with a friend who was in a “dead-end” career that held no real meaning for her. For a long time she convinced herself that it was okay to “settle” for this work, because it generated a nice income for her. After all, she still had some time to follow her passions during non-working hours. But then she started feeling more consumed by work, and she had less time and energy to devote to her passions.
Funny thing is, she had accepted her current job because her previous work had become all-consuming. She was suffering from the belief that “the grass is always greener.” Unfortunately, so many people subscribe to this belief. “The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence,” writes Robert Fulghum in It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It “Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.”
Ah, so the million dollar question is, “Where do you choose to water the grass?”
I asked my friend, “If money were no object, what would you be doing professionally right now?” She proceeded to describe two ideas that she was very passionate about, which to me did not seem to relate in any way. She confided that she had fantasized about ways to turn her passions into a career, but several people who knew her well had told her that she would never be able to make a decent living with the kind of work she had described. Her ideas were just too “outside the box.”
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
--Mark Twain
Before we ended our conversation, I asked my friend if she would write her own dream job description and share it with me.
A week later I received an email which detailed my friend’s ideal career. She had brought together her passions and talents in a unique way that I would never have thought to combine. The next time I talked with her, she was really excited. She had decided to enroll in a class to enhance a skill she thought would help her move forward, and she has already lined up her first “dream job” client -- giving a keynote address at a major convention. The topic of her talk combined her two passions! I have every confidence that she will be wildly successful!
“If you want to be truly successful, invest in yourself to get the knowledge you need to find your unique factor. When you find it and focus on it and persevere, your success will blossom.”
--Sidney Madwed
My marketing coach and friend, Kendall SummerHawk, is a gifted marketing consultant and communicator, and she also has a passion for horses. Curious as to how she has combined these things? She recently published a book called Brilliance Unbridled. Click here to read a sample chapter and find out how she has combined her passions with her professional talents and skills.
I write about these career struggles from personal experience. For 13 years I stayed in a stressful career that I did not find fulfilling. Not only was I unhappy, but the quality of my time with family suffered, as well. The more time I invested in that career path, the less at choice I felt. At one point I took an exam to receive a special certification in my field. When I passed the exam and was certified, I felt like there was no turning back! I told myself, "I can't leave this field now…look how much I've invested in it!" And besides, I had no idea what else I could possibly do. (Hint: There was a huge "should" built into my self-talk about staying in this career field.)
Fear held me back, until one day the pain of not making a change outweighed the fear of the unknown. In the midst of experiencing all of this pain I was laid off, which forced me to think about my choices. I felt like a baby bird being pushed out of the nest …and I learned to fly!
Within a couple of years, my business was born. Soon after, I was enrolled in the Academy for Coach Training to become a certified coach. For more than a decade I have been at the helm of my own business, and I love what I do. I’ve never looked back with a single regret.
“Life is not measured by the breath we take but by the moments that take our breath away.”
--Anonymous
Does your life work take your breath away? I am struck by how many people live for the weekends because they dislike their work so much. If this describes you, imagine how it would feel to have the kind of work that you were so passionate about that you woke up before your alarm went off and you looked forward to going to work!
Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I doing what I love?
- Am I having fun with my job most of the time?
- Do I feel a sense of purpose and genuine passion for what I do?
- Am I respected by those around me for what I do?
- Do I choose to do what I’m doing (vs. feeling like I should or I gotta do it)?
- Am I happy?
If you answered "no" to any of the above questions, it's not too late to change. Figure out what your purpose is. What are you here on earth for?
“It’s never too late to be who you might have been.”
--George Eliot
If you are not clear about your purpose, here are some questions to ask yourself. Write your responses in a journal.
- What do I care about most?
- What am I doing now that makes a difference?
- What gifts do I have that I’m currently using? What gifts do I have that I’m not using, but would like to?
- What do I want more of in my life? What do I want less of?
- If I only had one year left to live, how would I want to live it? What would I be doing different? Who would I be with? Where would I be (geographic, environment)?
- What “theme” consistently runs through my life?
- What do I want others to say about me at the end of my life?
It’s time to follow your bliss.
It all begins with what you say to yourself…
Words produce Thoughts.
Thoughts produce Feelings.
Feelings produce Decisions.
Decisions produce Actions.
Actions produce Habits.
Habits produce Character.
Character produces your Destiny.
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