Power in Your Purpose

"Be careful how you are talking
to yourself because you are listening."
--Lisa M. Hayes

May is Mental Health Awareness Month…a great time of year to identify if your self-talk is motivating you or is holding you back.

One of the most damaging misconceptions you can have is a belief that you are limited in ways that make it impossible for you to achieve past a certain level. If you perceive this to be true, you will be held back.

While there is no magic formula for helping people move past their self-imposed limitations, here is a powerful tip that may help if you struggle with self-doubt:  Inject meaning into whatever you do.

Whether working for pay or as a volunteer, when there's a compelling reason behind doing an activity, you'll work harder, push past your fears and doubts, and go the extra mile to accomplish your goals. Couple this extra effort with a talent or strength that is unique to you, and you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish! 

The key is to focus on something that is bigger than you. When you make it about yourself, it's much easier to allow limitations to creep in. When you make it about a cause much greater than yourself—when you find power in your purpose--you'll expand your vision and it will be much easier for you to get out of your own way. I'll illustrate my point with a story.

Years ago I met a woman (I'll call her Jane) who had difficulty carrying on a conversation with more than one or two people at a time. Even when directly asked for her opinion, she was reluctant to share her thoughts.  One day Jane's life changed in an instant when her daughter was killed by an underage drunk driver. Within months of her daughter's death, Jane transformed from an insecure, withdrawn, soft-spoken woman to a confident, powerful, and assertive public speaker, taking every opportunity she could find to deliver her impassioned message.  It became her life's work to heighten awareness about the dangers of underage drinking and drunk driving.  Jane found power in her purpose.

Here are some ways you can add meaning to your everyday life:

1. Give a portion of your income to a charity that is making a difference and holds meaning for you.  Do this on a monthly basis.  Before selecting a charity, do some research to find out what percentage of donated funds actually go to the stated purpose and what percentage goes to overhead costs.  One of my favorite resources for this is Charity Navigator, which evaluates the financial health, accountability, and transparency of 7000 of America's largest charities. If you are looking for smaller (more local) charities, you might also check out GreatNonprofits.org.

2. Volunteer your time to an organization or cause that holds great meaning for you.  Whether you do something on an ongoing (weekly or monthly) basis or you take a day out of each quarter of the year to volunteer, you'll find tremendous satisfaction in giving of yourself in this way. If you want to review a list of volunteer opportunities in your area, do a Google search for "volunteer opportunities [Name of Your City]" and you will probably find a number of opportunities listed.

3. Be a pioneer in your industry or profession.  Find new and creative ways that you can replace outdated business models. Even better, reinvent your industry or profession in a way that incorporates social good. If you're going to radically shake up things in your profession, why not also consider ways that you can help others accomplish their goals?
   
   I was one of the first among Professional Organizers / Productivity Consultants to offer my services virtually.  Instead of driving or flying to a client's office to help them "get organized," I found ways that I could effectively provide my coaching and consulting services over the phone, while also helping my clients to accomplish their goals in a more lasting way. Because weekly coaching was provided over a period of several months, my clients were able to make incremental weekly changes in their behavior and form new habits that stuck. 
   
   Under the old model, I would drive or fly to a client's location, work intensely with them for several days, and then leave. Under that model, the necessary behavioral changes were not happening and the systems we had created together often fell apart over time.  By offering virtual services, I was able to work weekly with a client for several months. I partnered with them on their journey toward making lasting behavioral changes that helped them to get and stay organized. I also saved them money (no travel-related costs passed on to the client) and I was able to be home with my family instead of being on the road all the time.
   
   I remember when I first started offering my services by phone, my colleagues told me that it couldn't be done…that I needed to be physically present to help a client "get organized."  Then they saw that I had a steady stream of clients who were effectively working with me in this way. 
   
   Based on demand for knowledge about how I was doing this work, I created a training program for my colleagues called "Virtually There: How to Help Your Clients Get Organized Without Leaving Your Office."  I taught many others how to do this, and today many of them are working virtually with their clients. This business model makes it possible for clients who live or work in remote areas to access help without paying for travel expenses.
   
   NOTE: Although I am not taking on any clients at this time, I continue to teach a FREE monthly webinar called Buried in Paper. Scroll down this page to learn more and to register for the next free webinar! When you participate, you'll see how much I can help you to get organized without actually coming to your home or office!

Do well by doing good. Figure out what is meaningful to you and the people around you, and you will discover the path for making extraordinary things happen.

"One of the most beautiful compensations in life is that
no man can help another without helping himself."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Post-Commentary from Kathy

(written 4/29/14)

I knew that I would be away on a personal development retreat at the end of April and I wanted to publish this on May 1, so I wrote the article you just read in mid-April.  What I did not know was how perfectly this topic would mirror the experience I just had over this past weekend (April 25-27).  I am writing this additional commentary on April 29 for publication on May 1. 

I flew to Los Angeles to participate in an Elite Leaders retreat, conducted by two amazing facilitators and coaches, Margie Aliprandi and Sean Smith. The last day of the retreat, we were asked to participate in an exercise.  When I heard what we were being asked to do, I felt strong resistance and fear. I did not want to do it!

Here were our instructions:

1. Take the 9" x 12" (3/4" thick) solid wood board and the felt tip pen you've been given and write down your disempowering beliefs or habits that get in the way of you living life to the fullest. Here are some of the things I listed: Fear of failure, fear of rejection, being an approval junkie, perfectionism, fear of being out of my comfort zone, comparing myself to others.
   
   
2. Turn the board over and write down what you want to cultivate or attract into your life.  Here are some of the things I listed: Joy, peace, balance, harmony, connection, authenticity, leaving a legacy, championing the success of others.
   
   
3. Turn the board back over and read your disempowering beliefs or habits several times.  Really FEEL the anger build as you think about what it costs you to allow these beliefs or habits to continue in your life. Get angry!!
   
   
4. Give the board to the "holder" (a person in the group who holds your board in front of you at arm's length) and start loudly speaking each statement, beginning with NO MORE:  "No more fear of failure, No more fear of rejection, etc." Keep repeating the statements you've written on the board.
   
   
5. Your holder will be reading your body language and facial expressions and will determine when you are ready. When your holder says "NOW!", extend your arm with all the power you can muster from your core, and break the board with the force of your hand (using the palm) making contact with the middle of the board.

I just re-read the article above that I wrote earlier this month, and it holds a much deeper meaning for me now:

"While there is no magic formula for helping people move past their self-imposed limitations, here is a powerful tip that may help if you struggle with self-doubt:  Inject meaning into whatever you do."

It was a thrill to watch all 60 people in the room (including our audio-visual guy) break their boards as they thought about the costs (meaning) of holding onto their disempowering beliefs!  I was also amazed at how many of us had the same or similar beliefs.

When I injected meaning--anger about thoughts I had been tolerating in my head--into this exercise, there was no limit to my strength, and I was able to literally have a break-through!  There was power in my purpose!

I've already started applying what I experienced over the weekend.  Today I was feeling way out of my comfort zone about calling someone I had on my "chicken list."  My broken board is here on my desk, reminding me of one of the disempowering habits that I chose to give up: "No more fear of being out of my comfort zone."  I picked up the phone and made the call! 

"Be careful how you are talking
to yourself because you are listening."
--Lisa M. Hayes