LOVE YOURSELF

"Love yourself first and
everything falls into line."
-Lucille Ball

As we gear up to celebrate Valentine's Day, let's look at something that is important to everyone…self-care. Do you treat yourself as well as you would treat a cherished friend or family member?

My father died on Valentine's Day back in 1981. He was only 47 years old and he had a massive heart attack. Although some of this was due to genetic predisposition, my father frequently ate high-fat, high-cholesterol foods, did not exercise much, and lived with high stress in both his personal and work life.

Several years ago I started working out with a personal trainer, scheduled daily cardio exercise, made major changes to my dietary habits, started getting more sleep, started scheduling weekly massages, blocked out more free days, and scheduled more vacation time.

Taking care of yourself is not just a good idea. It will also make you a better business owner, service professional, employee, parent, friend, volunteer, and partner. Your employer, business partners, or customers expect that you will do whatever is necessary to be in good physical, mental, spiritual, and social order.

I used to be afraid that taking more time for myself would mean that my business would suffer and I'd take a big financial hit. I can tell you that this has not been my experience. Practicing better self-care has helped me to work smarter rather than harder.  In addition to being financially rewarded, I feel so much better and am having a lot more fun.

Take a moment to think about what you expect from other professionals who interact with you. Now, look in the mirror and be honest. Do you like what you see? How does your self-care affect your work or your relationship with yourself and others?

Especially during tough economic times, it's important that you put yourself at the top of your priority list. Imagine if you let yourself fall apart, how much less equipped you'd be to make it through challenging times.

Also remember that as a parent, you serve as a role model for your children. You are their most important teacher.  If you take care of yourself, you teach your children the importance of taking care of themselves.  If you sacrifice your health, you teach your children that good health is not a priority.

Here's a great reminder from author and speaker Barbara De Angelis:  "If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself."

How do you mend a broken heart?

Most people think that cancer is the leading killer in America. Although cancer is a serious contender, heart disease is actually the leading killer for women, and it is high on the list for men, too. You already know that a healthy diet and a good exercise program can reduce cardiac risk factors.

There's one other important factor to pay attention to!  I was surprised to learn the that the risk of dying within six months of a heart attack are four times greater for people who are depressed and lonely.

When people ask how my father died at such an early age, I usually say that he died of a broken heart. Although much of his heart disease was related to the high stress he was under, as well an unwillingness to honor his own needs for self-care with a reasonable diet and exercise program, my parents had just divorced and he was very lonely.

Dr. Dean Ornish, a Clinical Professor of Medicine at UCSF and author of the book, Love and Survival, tells us that "medicine today focuses primarily on drugs and surgery, genes and germs, microbes and molecules. Yet love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well. Connections with other people affect not only the quality of our lives but also our survival. Study after study finds that people who feel lonely are many times more likely to get cardiovascular disease than those who have a strong sense of connection and community."

Lonely people are also much more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors, taking refuge in food, drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. They have nobody else to live for. But even those who eat right, exercise, and avoid smoking (and other risk factors) are at greater risk for premature death. There is a lot that medical experts don't completely understand, although several recent studies have found that the protective effects of expressing and receiving love have a profound effect on heart health. Understanding the connection between how we live and how long we live can help us to make better choices.

Ornish suggests that "instead of viewing the time we spend with friends and family as luxuries, we can see that these relationships are among the most powerful determinants of our well-being and survival. We are hard-wired to help each other. Science is documenting the healing values of love, intimacy, community, compassion, forgiveness, altruism and service--values that are part of almost all spiritual traditions as well as many secular ones.

I invite you to examine five important areas of your life:

Work:

• How many hours a day are you working? (If you'd like more free time, check out my free Buried in Paper webinar and learn how to increase productivity.)
• Do you take breaks? How about lunch away from your workspace?
• Do you have the flexibility you need to accommodate other important areas of your life, such as family activities and your own hobbies?
• If you are currently unemployed or fearful of losing your job, now is a good time to consider making a change. Do you enjoy your work and find it fulfilling? Does your industry face an uncertain future? Evaluate if a career change makes sense.
• If business is down, what are you doing to bring it back up? You are invited to participate in my next free business webinar for some great tips.

Health:

• Are you exercising regularly? Health professionals recommend that we walk 10,000 steps a day. Buy a pedometer and you can easily track how many steps you take daily. You can build regular exercise into your day by parking farther away, getting off the bus or train one or two stops before or after where you usually get off, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator.
• Are you eating three balanced meals a day, plus healthy snacks? Are you staying hydrated?
• Are you consuming too much caffeine or sugar instead of giving your body the sleep it needs to run optimally?
• Are you regularly taking free days--a 24-hour period that includes NO work (no checking voice mail, text messages or email, etc.)?
• When was the last time you took a real vacation (at least several days in a row) where you completely unplugged—no business calls, no work-related email, etc.? Even if you cannot afford to travel, you can still plan some free or inexpensive things to do that will help you rejuvenate.

Spiritual:

• What are you doing to be spiritually tuned?
• Do you have a spiritual practice such as meditation or prayer that helps you to quiet the mind, de-stress and let go of your worries?

Finances:

• Do you know exactly how much money you have, including gain or loss from investments, value of insurance or retirement accounts, etc?
• Do you know where your money goes? When you start keeping track, you may be surprised at how much you spend in certain areas. (For me, a big surprise was the cost of my daily mocha habit.) Once you have knowledge, you can make conscious and informed decisions about how you spend your money.
• Are you asleep at the wheel, or are you actively involved in keeping financially fit by leveraging your time and money and minimizing debt?

Relationships:

• Have you let go of relationships that are not healthy for you to be in?
• Do you require others to honor boundaries that keep you physically and emotionally safe?
• Do you follow promptings to tell those you love how you feel about them?
• If you feel lonely, look around you. There are so many volunteer opportunities that will help you to reach out to others and give. It feels good to give. You'll be helping someone else, and you'll feel better! If you don't know where to begin, do a Google search for "volunteer activities in (your city)" and see what comes up.
• Are you nurturing the relationships that are most important to you? Do you tell those you love how important they are in your life?

This Valentine's Day, I invite you to

begin by loving yourself!

Reach Out and Touch Someone

I am amazed at how little effort it takes to motivate, uplift, and make a difference in my own life and in the lives of others by the simple gesture of sending a note of appreciation or encouragement.  And in doing so, I feel more connected.

We all want to be acknowledged for our contributions in this world – to know that our lives matter in some way -- and we all want to be treated with respect – at home and at work.

When was the last time you shared expressions of appreciation and admiration with those you work and live with?  Here are a few ideas of ways you can reach out:

• Pick up the phone and call – thank someone for a good deed, or just express how much you appreciate them being a part of your life.
• Send a hand-written note. It does not need to be long.  It's the thought that counts.
• Invite someone out to a "just because" lunch.
• Compliment someone for something you appreciate about them (it doesn't have to be anything big to be appreciated).
• Do something you know someone else would appreciate, without being asked.

I've found a quick, easy and economical way to stay connected with others. It combines the technology of the Internet with the personal touch of a real greeting card that arrives in the mail.  Click here to schedule a call with me so I can introduce you to a company that will print it, address it, stuff it, stamp it with a real stamp, and send it in the mail for you, all for $1.17 per card. After trying and enjoying this product/service myself, I became an authorized rep. I'll help you test-drive the system by sending a free Valentine on me!