Finding Your Purpose

According to Japanese culture, everyone has an ikigai--your reason for being. Finding your purpose requires a deep and often lengthy search of self. The greatest contribution you can make to the world is to grow in self-awareness, self-realization, and the power to manifest your own heart’s desires and dreams. The next greatest thing you can do is to help others do the same.

When was the last time you really took the time to consider your ikigai — who you are at the core? What is your reason for being that makes you want to get out of bed every morning? What gifts and talents make you uniquely you, regardless of what you do for a living or what worldly possessions you have gained or lost?

How does maintaining a focus on who you’re being and why you’re here—your ikigai–shift the lens through which you view the world? Do you notice that you show up differently as a result?

 “Everyone has a purpose in life . . . a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.”

– Deepak Chopra

Getting Unstuck

If your self-esteem is determined by something that can be take away from you — wealth, success, popularity, fame, relationships – your ego is built on a very shaky foundation that could crumble at any time.  Make the decision today to create a healthy self-esteem, rooted in being true to who you were created to be. Nobody can take that from you.

A friend recently confided in me that, despite his seemingly “successful” career, he was not clear about his life purpose and he was feeling stuck in his present job. He didn’t feel fulfilled by his work, but the “golden handcuffs” kept him at a job that paid him handsomely and included amazing benefits. He told me that before he could make any career moves, he needed to “have it all figured out.”

Here’s the good news! You don’t have to have it all figured out NOW in order to begin taking action.

Answer the following questions to help you sort out what you want. Don’t try to figure out the how while you’re writing down your answers. Just put your heart’s desires down on paper right now.

1. What do you love doing so much that you’d do it, whether you got paid to do it or not?
   Several years ago, a client (I’ll call her Connie) was working in a very stressful job as a pediatric nurse. She dreaded going to work because her co-workers were so toxic to work with. In one of her coaching sessions, Connie mentioned that between her stressful shifts at the hospital, she occasionally volunteered as a clown. She lived for those moments because they brought her such great joy.With a little encouragement, Connie decided to explore the possibility of incorporating her life’s passion — clowning — into her professional work. Ultimately, she convinced another hospital in town to create her ideal job description and hire her. This new job included dressing as a clown a couple of hours each day. Connie loved being able to provide the healing power of laughter to some of the children she cared for. Not only did this completely transform her feelings about her work, but it also helped the patients to heal more rapidly. Connie was able to make a huge shift from considering leaving the nursing profession, to loving the work that she was trained to do.

   How can you incorporate what you love into your work, either with your present situation or by creating a new opportunity?

2. Where do you want to live? Where do you want to work?
   Perhaps you’ve always dreamed of a specific geographic location where you’d like to live and work. What’s one thing you can do now that will create the momentum to make this dream come true? A middle-aged colleague of mine decided to move from the Midwest to beachfront property in southern California. This was a lifelong dream of hers, but there were so many logistics involved that she could not figure out how to make it work.What got her to finally make the move? There was a whole chain reaction of activities involved in this move, beginning with her finalizing a divorce and recognizing her new-found freedom. Then she created a vision board with pictures of the beachfront property where she wanted to live, and she started taking the action steps necessary to manifest her vision and make the move. Once she took the first step, the next steps became known to her as she needed to know them. Had she waited until she understood how it would all work, she never would have taken that first step.

   Sometimes just getting started is all you need. When you get in motion it’s easier to stay in motion. You don’t need to have it all figured out to get started.

3. What family goals or intentions do you have?
   Do you want to get married, end an unhealthy relationship, start a family, move closer to your grandchildren, or move a dependent adult “child” out of the house? What’s one action step you can take now to move you forward? Remember, you don’t have to have the how all figured out to get started!

4. What personal goals or intentions light your fire?
   Do you desire a change in your health or physical appearance? Do you want to go back to school to develop knowledge and skills? What’s one action step you can take now to move you forward?

5. What is your inner guide telling you right now?
   As you think about your heart’s desires, what have you been prompted to do that you are ignoring or putting off until “someday”?

Fast Forward

If you’re having difficulty answering the questions above, try this: fast forward in time and imagine that you’re the guest of honor at your 100th birthday party. You’re enjoying reminiscing about your wonderful life with family and friends – a life you’ve lived with no regrets. They ask you to complete this sentence:  As I look back over my life, I am so grateful that ___. Complete this sentence as many times as necessary, until you have written down all of the things you’ve imagined that you want to be, do, or have by your 100^th birthday.

You may have some questions as you explore your thoughts. These are questions that only you can answer. Write them down and sleep on them. At some level, you already know the answers. They will come to you over time. Let go of having to know everything now. Once you find your own true purpose in life, everything else will fall into place and decisions will become much easier to make.

When you take action with your inner guide leading you, you’ll find the answers you seek. You’ll tap into something so powerful that it will create a domino effect in your life. Don’t look for someone else to give you the answers or you will miss out on tapping into your own core genius. If you are struggling, it’s because you’re trying too hard to “figure it out.”  Allow things to unfold in their own timing, and have patience.

The Best Birthday Present

Earlier this month my mentor, Jack Canfield, celebrated his 74th birthday. One of his friends asked him to name the best gift he’d ever received. This is how he responded:

It was a good question, and it took some time for me to answer it, because I’m fortunate to have received some really wonderful and thoughtful gifts over the years. Then I realized, in order to answer the question properly, I needed to consider the lasting impact the gift had made on my life.

Once I thought about it in that light, the answer was immediately clear: The best gift I have ever received is one I gave myself many years ago, when I put in the time and effort to get clear on what my true purpose in life is.

Because once I understood what my purpose was – and aligned my personal life and professional career to serve that purpose – my life had so much more joy and meaning to it. I was happier every day, because the work I was doing filled me with joy and a deep sense of satisfaction. All of the decisions I had to make in my life became so much easier – because all I had to do was ask myself, “Does this serve my purpose?” to get clear on what the right choice was.

-Jack Canfield

Here’s a three-part exercise that Jack shares to help you describe your purpose in life:

1. Identify the top two qualities you most enjoy expressing in the world. Examples: love, joy, enthusiasm, optimism, confidence, compassion, courage, authenticity, spontineity, humor. If you are not clear what these qualities are, ask your closest friends to help you.
2. Identify the top two ways you most enjoy expressing these qualities in your life. Examples: inspiring and empowering people, teaching others, writing books, creating art, performing, creating order out of chaos, finding solutions, fixing things that don’t work.
3. Describe what the world would look like if it were operating perfectly according to you.

Just Do It!

It’s time to turn stagnation into meaningful action. Meaningful action leads to results. Sometimes the hardest part is simply getting started.

Have you ever noticed that when you get in motion, you tend to stay in motion, and when you get stuck you tend to stay stuck? Your success in business may require you to consciously break that cycle of inertia by doing something positive — even when you don’t feel like it.

Here are five tips to help you get unstuck:

1. DEFINE yourself through your “I AM” statements. If you are not familiar with what an “I AM” statement is, read the end of my blog article, The Key to Living the Life You Want.  I’ve found that a powerful way of staying focused on these affirmations is to send them to myself in a card I can take with me anywhere I go and read them several times a day.

2. ALLOW your promptings to guide you on your journey. Advice from others can be helpful, but make sure and listen to what your gut or inner voice is telling you. Doubt appears when you stop listening to your own creative genius.

3. TAKE ACTION. Meaningful daily action leads to positive results. Take action, even when you don’t feel like it. Let your commitments and your promptings guide you. There are some days when you won’t feel like doing something you’ve committed to doing. All you need to do is get started. Once you start, it’s much easier to continue.

4. RE-START as many times as you need to. Sometimes you’ll need to re-start daily until things get moving. This is not unusual, even for the most successful people!

5. CHOOSE from a place of love rather than fear. Choices based in fear, loss or scarcity almost always have an undesirable outcome. If you are deciding to do something because of what you will lose if you don’t, your success will be short-lived. When you focus on fear or on what you don’t have, what do you get more of? Fear and lack! Choose your life path from a place of abundance. There is no urgency or fear on this path. This is the path of a never-ending flow of goodness. Success based on abundance and passion is endless.

So often we get fixated on trying to figure out the how. That will stop you dead in your tracks. Let go of having to know the answers now. Asking what rather than how will help you get unstuck and in motion.

If you’d like a fresh perspective– someone to help you design the life you want by aligning your vision, priorities, and actions—let’s schedule a no-cost, no-pressure Discovery Call today.

Additional Resources:

• Guide: Living with Purpose
• Guide: Cultivating Happiness: Living Life on Your Terms
• Blog: How I Discovered My Purpose
• Blog: The Key to Living the Life You Want
• Blog: The Power of Passion in Your Work
• Guide: Find Your Strengths & Choose Your Success
• Guide: Cultivating Happiness: Living Life on Your Terms
• Self-Paced Course: Guide to Getting Motivated & Achieving Your Goals