As we approach the holiday season, that sense of overwhelm and holiday stress can begin to ring as loud as the Salvation Army bells. For some, the holidays represent stress, pressure, expectations, guilt, disappointment, pain, loneliness, exhaustion … and it doesn’t have to be that way! Will your holidays be filled with “ho ho ho” or “bah humbug!”? Keep reading to learn tips for managing holiday stress.
According to a survey from the American Psychological Association, 38% of people say that their stress levels increase around the holidays. Whether you’re experiencing financial worries, feeling the pressures of gift-giving, stressed about spending more time with certain family members, or you simply don’t have enough time in the day for additional activities in your life … there are plenty of reasons you may be dreading the holidays.
“My dad used to say that the holidays are when you get a whole bunch of people that really aren’t that close and don’t know each other that well and overcrowd them into a small room for an extended period of time so they can make each other miserable.”
–Dr. Phil McGraw
As I’ve shared in a previous blog, there are many effective ways to manage your levels of stress and anxiety. However, holiday stress can bring on a completely different kind of stress. By the beginning of November, it’s difficult to get through a day without seeing or hearing a movie, TV show, song, or advertisement having to do with the holiday season. All of this seasonal stimuli can increase anxiety and may cause you to create unrealistic expectations of how you’re “supposed” to feel. Then, when these high holiday standards aren’t reached, you wonder why you feel so down when everyone around you seems so happy.
Let’s explore some ways to reduce or eliminate your holiday stress.
Acknowledge How You’re Feeling
Be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. When it comes to the holidays, if your heart’s not in it, then your head needs to know.
Going through the motions like everything is fine and forcing yourself into that holiday cheer mode will get tiresome very quickly, and it will likely have you feeling burned out before you know it.
Make a list of those you want to spend time with during the holidays. Who nourishes you? Who are the family members, friends, and colleagues you enjoy being with? Who brings you down? Maybe this is not the year to get together with them!
Are you invited to holiday parties that you really don’t want to go to, but you’ve gone in the past because you should? Be at choice — don’t play the victim! This is not about whom you should see, but rather who you choose to spend time with.
Equally as important is letting other people in your life know how you’re feeling; don’t suffer in silence. Attempting to put on a happy face in order to keep up with the people in your life who love the holidays will only add to your stress, and it can lead you to experience deeper lows as a result. It doesn’t matter if it’s a spouse, family member, or close friend — having someone to talk to (or maybe even commiserate with) about holiday stress can offer a huge relief when you’re feeling surrounded by people who seem to be in the holiday cheer.
Avoid Over-Scheduling
The holiday season is inevitably full of invitations to parties, meals, gift exchanges, cookie exchanges, or any number of other get-togethers. All of these things — in addition to your prior obligations and everyday schedule — can have you feeling overbooked and exhausted. The secret to avoiding this is recognizin
g what is too much, and then knowing how to say “no.”
Once the holiday season starts gearing up, take some time to look at your December calendar and block off some days/times that you’d like to reserve for yourself and/or your family. Make sure to book any special events you have in mind as early as possible to avoid last-minute scrambling and scheduling.
Create a list of holiday rituals or traditions that are important to you. Seek your family’s input on holiday decisions. Ask family members you care about what they liked and disliked about last year’s holidays. Write down the most important elements and activities you wish to include in your plans for this year. Then plan things into your family calendar to make it happen.
Time-consuming and irrelevant traditions “just because we’ve always done it that way” can increase stress. Plan to say no to the rituals that are not meaningful to you and others you care about. Keep only those that are meaningful to you, or create some new ones.
Give yourself permission to be in the moment and enjoy the smells, sounds, feel, and tastes that are unique to this season of the year.
If you go into December fully knowing what your schedule looks like, you’ll be mentally prepared when things start to pick up.
Check out this wonderful kindness calendar, created by ActionForHappiness for the month of December…a great way to instill and practice kindness as a family.
Take a Break and Get Away
When there’s so much focus on giving, it can be easy to forget to take some time for yourself. Depending on your schedule, you may be able to do this in a number of ways, but every little bit helps.
- Take a walk: Even something as simple as getting out of your home to take a brief walk can do wonders to help clear your head. The fresh winter air can be invigorating to a mind that’s feeling bogged-down with holiday anxiety and actually has some surprising health benefits.
- Take a day off: Conversely, sometimes what you need is a day where you don’t have to leave your house. Taking a random day off of work can not only help you relax but can also give you some extra time to check things off your overwhelming holiday checklist.
Take a vacation: If you’re really looking to get away, consider planning a trip. If you live in snow country, plan a vacation at a tropical resort or on a luxury cruise, some of which will offer special holiday discounts. Spending some time away from your usual surroundings can help you relax and recharge so you can power through the rest of the season.
Thoughtfully plan your gift-giving.
Give from the heart, not out of obligation. Decide who you choose to give to and make a list. This will help you avoid overspending through impulse buying.
If you think back to the most cherished gifts you have received, they are often homemade or from the heart. A gift of time–such as a gift certificate redeemable for an activity you can do together–can be very meaningful. Among the most prized gifts I’ve ever received have been homemade cards with a heartfelt note written inside. Value goes far beyond the cost of the gift.
A great resource for homemade gift ideas is a book called The Perfect Mix. It contains creative edible gift ideas, including wrapping suggestions and tag instructions, along with a source guide for supplies. The book offers more than 90 recipes for soups, breads, muffins, cookies, and other gifts. The gifts I’ve created from this book have been very well received and appreciated.
Instead of exchanging gifts with friends, consider having a holiday or post-holiday party with them.
Avoid parking hassles, gridlock traffic around the malls, and long lines at the register by shopping online and through catalogs. Many retail stores offer merchandise online, as well. If you are purchasing a gift that needs to be mailed, you can arrange to have it sent directly to the recipient, thus avoiding the extra steps of wrapping, labeling, and mailing the gift.
Wrapping gifts can take a lot of time. Instead of wrapping all of them, use a gift bag with a nice bow tied at the top, use a decorated gift box, or utilize the services of a non-profit organization offering holiday gift-wrapping services, with proceeds supporting the organization’s mission.
If you are shopping for someone who already “has everything,” consider giving an alternative gift by making a contribution to a charity in their name. A number of charities offer gift catalogs of things you can “purchase” through them so they can better serve those in need.
Two of my favorite international charities are Heifer Project International and World Vision. Through living gifts of animals, these non-profit organizations are helping families worldwide to become self-reliant. You can buy an animal that can change the life of a hungry family for years to come, and at the same time honor someone you care about. These charities will provide you with a card that you can give to the person you gave the gift in honor of, or they will send them something to let them know that you gave a gift to their charity in honor of them.
Here are links to some alternative gift catalogs from a few international charities that are doing some wonderful work:
Seek Professional Help If You Need It
There are many reasons that you may not be excited about the holiday season, and it’s important to recognize the difference between not being in the mood for the holidays, and the more serious, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Affecting more women than men, SAD can present itself with symptoms of fatigue, difficulty concentrating, increased appetite, weight gain, and a general loss of energy. Although there is no official and definitive cause of SAD, it is widely believed that the lack of sunlight in the wintertime leads the brain to produce less serotonin, a chemical in the brain that regulates mood swings.
In addition, the holiday season can bring on depression for some, especially when it’s the first holiday after the death
of a loved one or a break-up.
If you feel like you’re experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder or depression, consult your health care provider for a diagnosis. SAD could be a sign of real depression or possibly bipolar disorder, so it is crucial that you get an assessment and receive the help you need. SAD can often be treated naturally by attempting to get more sunlight during your day, either by going outside more often before the sun sets or by using a UV lamp.
You may also want to seek the support of a licensed mental health professional. An excellent resource for finding someone in your area can be found at PsychologyToday.com by clicking on the Find a Therapist tab and typing in your zip code.
As you prepare for the holidays, remember that the greatest gifts of all won’t be found under the gift wrap. They’ll be found during those special moments when you make a heart connection with those you care about.
When you realize that you have choices, you give yourself the power to create change and to direct your life. If you’d like help sorting out what you want and how to make it happen, let’s schedule a no-cost, no-pressure Discovery Call today. Together we’ll explore what you desire to be different in the coming year.
Additional Resources:
- Homemade gift ideas: The Perfect Mix
- Free webinar: Managing Priorities
- Find a Therapist: PsychologyToday.com
- Alternative Gift Ideas:
Life Architect – Creating Blueprints for Purposeful & Productive Lives
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