The December 1999 issue of Paauwer Tools was about New Year's resolutions & intentions. How is that going for you? If you are moving forward with your intentions, congratulations! You have probably intentionally changed some habits and behaviors. If you find that you are not manifesting your intentions, read on!

Knowing what to do and doing it as automatic behavior are two very different things. We attend self-help seminars and read "how to" books which offer great ideas. Unfortunately, it's not what we know, but how we apply that knowledge to our day-to-day lives, that makes a difference. 

As professionals we want to do what we know is best. And when we suddenly know better, we grow very impatient. We want everything yesterday! We want to be able to consistently apply high-leverage responses that become second nature to us. We want others to trust that we have the ability to rise to the occasion when the pressure is on. And we want to have trust in ourselves that we can handle whatever is thrown in our paths. So how do we bridge the gap between what we know and what we do? 

Desired behavior does not spontaneously occur by itself, and there are no "quick fixes." We can temporarily change our behavior with willpower, but only for a very limited time. After that, auto pilot kicks in, and we fall back into old behaviors and patterns even when those habits do not serve us well. 

We are creatures of habit. Taking the path of least resistance is usually easier, and most humans resist change. Because humans are motivated to change if it will increase pleasure or decrease pain, we are much less likely to change unless the discomfort we feel during the process of change is less painful than if we keep things as they are. Conscious choice is key. 

We have so many activities which require our conscious attention, and our brains can only focus on so much at one time. In order to create new behaviors which will get and keep us at the enhanced levels at which we wish to function, we need support. A personal coach can provide helpful support by spending real time and holding us accountable to do the real things we need to be doing -- creating new auto pilot modes -- not just for the next few days, but for a lifetime. 

Are you living your life on purpose? Is your self-talk full of "have-to," "should," "gotta," "can't," or "I wish"? How often do you say "I choose to.."? Are you feeling at choice about your day-to-day activities? When we do not honor our values and our life purpose through conscious choice and intentional behavior and responses, we're headed for a crash landing. Auto pilot does not always serve us well, as was tragically exemplified last year with the death of PGA champion Payne Stewart, whose Lear jet crashed while on auto pilot. 

I'll use the metaphor of an airline pilot to illustrate my point. I ask you this: Would you get on an airplane with a pilot who did not have and follow a flight plan? Do you realize that most of the time pilots are not exactly on course? They veer slightly off to the left or the right, but they consistently come back to the center and they almost always reach their destination. Isn't that how life is for us? We can have a plan, even if we don't stick with it 100 percent of the time. But if we don't have a plan, we may veer off course and never have a "center" to come back to. As the saying goes, "If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there." 

Do you have and follow your own flight plan? Are you honoring your values and living your life on purpose? Are you driven by choice, or by "should," have-to" and "I wish.."? Sometimes we need someone else to reflect back to us what we are saying so we can hear ourselves. Consider teaming up with someone who can be that mirror for you. A coach or a trusted friend can help you listen to your self-talk and see your self-defeating habits. Ask if these serve you well. Then consciously choose which habits you will change.

Four Behavioral Stages of Changing Habits

The unconscious competence level is the ultimate aim. This is where the new habit is so ingrained into our nervous systems, that we can't stand the discomfort of not doing it. Coaching is a high-leveraged way to move from stage one or two to stage three and four. Because our automatic response systems in our brains have a natural aversion to change, the support of a personal coach provides essential support and structure as we move through the process of creating consistent and lasting behaviors that get us where we want to go. 

Narrow Your Focus to Three Intentions at a Time

Because your brain can only focus on so much at one time, I suggest that you identify no more than three goals or habits to work on over the next few months. Jot down your three most important goals or areas of focus, and then underneath each goal write a description of the measurable results you intend to achieve. Remember…trying to concentrate on more than three goals at a time can put your mind into overload. 

Here's an example of how your goals and intentions might look:

BE MORE PRODUCTIVE AT WORK
	Have a system in place to follow up on calls and letters in a timely way.
	Be on time or early for appointments.
	Take journals & mail with me so I can catch up on my reading if I am early for an appointment.
	Break larger tasks into smaller ones with deadlines assigned to each smaller task.
	Set realistic goals and deadlines for new projects and stay on task.
	Remind myself that when I say "yes" to one thing I am saying "no" to other things. Only say yes to what is important.
	Do weekly planning.
IMPROVE MY HEALTH & FITNESS
	Design and follow a workout program that will reduce my body fat to 20% by June 1.
	Do 30 minutes of cardiovascular workout 3x/wk. to maintain my target heart rate.
	Pack my lunch and only go out to eat for appointments with others. Choose low-fat menu items when I go out to eat.
	Eat 3 meals a day; finish the last meal before 8 PM.
	Reduce sugar, starch, and fat consumption.
	Take vitamins twice a day.
CREATE MORE ROMANCE WITH MY WIFE
	Plan a "date night" each week and arrange for a babysitter for the kids.
	Plan a quarterly weekend overnight away and arrange for the kids to be at Mom & Dad's.
	Surprise her with things to let her know I am thinking about her (cards, flowers, etc.)
	Acknowledge her for all that she does for the kids and me.
	Acknowledge her for who she is being.

For a complimentary initial consultation with Kathy Paauw, Certified Professional Coach and Professional Organizer, please email orgcoach@gte.net or call 425-881-6627.

Quotes of the Month

"You are free to choose, but the choices you make today will determine
what you will have, be, and do in the tomorrow of your life."
- Zig Ziglar

"If we keep doing what we're doing, we'll keep getting what we're getting.
One definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results."
-Stephen Covey


Organizing Tool of the Month

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