On Firm Foundation
"People turn to Spirit when their foundations are shaking,
only to discover that it is Spirit that is shaking them."
-Anonymous
Imagine a foundation built on quicksand or one with cracks in it. Over time, whatever you build on that foundation will either sink or fall apart. If you want to accomplish lasting results with less effort, you’ll need a firm foundation to support you.
Below are ten questions to ask yourself to determine if you are building your life on a firm foundation. These questions were originally written by Thomas Leonard. I follow each of Thomas' questions with some action ideas that will assist you in reinforcing your foundation. Please read through all ten. Then choose one that you will take action on within the next 24 hours.
1. Are you complete with the past?
An incompletion is anything you pay attention to or give thought to that needs to be different than it is right now.
The Past represents what you did, didn't do, should have done, or did wrong or inadequately. In other words, it remains with you in some way. You are not your past, yet you may be living as if you are.
Action Idea: Make a list of people and projects that you're incomplete with. I've created an exercise to help you with this. Once you've completed your RAM Dump (dumping all the sticky notes from your brain onto paper), you’ll need to make one of five decisions to make it complete. Although the list below might seem like it could only be used for making decision about things (like paper), you can also make these choices with incompletions that show up in the form of activities, thoughts and relationships:
- Dump it
- Delegate it
- Do it now
- Defer it for later (attend our free Buried in Paper teleclass to learn how to manage these things)
- File it away for future reference (attend our free Find Anything in 5 Seconds or Less webinar to learn how to create an effective filing system)
2. Do you make choices based on your values?
As you strengthen your personal foundation, there will be more time, energy, and space in your
life. You'll be able to express yourself by setting goals based on your true values and priorities.
Action: Identify your core values. Make choices based on those values. Let go of goals that you cannot link to your values.
If you are having trouble identifying your values, try this exercise:
- Write down the names of 10-20 people whom you admire. They can be living or dead, fiction or real. You may or may not have met them. Just write down their names.
- Next to each name, write down adjectives that describe what it is that you admire about him/her. These are your core values.
Example:
Mother Teresa: compassionate, unconditional love, non-judgmental, generous, giving
3. Are you living in integrity?
To be your best, make choices that are in alignment with your values and priorities. You are responsible for the decisions you make and the actions you do or do not take.
Action Idea: Make a list of the ways in which you are currently out of integrity with yourself, and get to the source of each item to resolve it fully. Let go of gremlin language ("I should...I gotta... have to" ) and replace it with "I choose to."
Integrity check: pull out your checkbook or last credit card statement and review it. Do your expenditures reflect your most important values?
4. Are your needs being met?
What are your non-negotiable needs (aside from food, shelter, and clothing)? Do you need acknowledgement, connection with nature, time alone, safety, aesthetics, financial security, routine, adventure?
Action Idea: Identify your non-negotiable needs and ask family and friends to help you meet and honor those needs.
5. Do you have clear boundaries?
Boundaries are lines you establish around yourself to protect your heart, mind and soul from the unhealthy or damaging behavior of others.
Action Idea: Identify the things that people may no longer do or say around you or to you. Educate others on how to respect your new boundaries. Be clear about what you choose to do when others do not respect and honor the boundaries you have established and shared with them.
6. How high are your standards?
Standards are the behaviors and actions you're willing to hold yourself to. Examples:
- You grew up in a home that had to be kept spotless all the time. Does it serve you to maintain the same standards -- perhaps at the expense of other values that are more important to you - now that you have your own home?
- As a child, you were taught to clean your plate at every meal, whether you were hungry or not. Does that rule serve you and your health today?
Action Idea: Let go of the standards you were taught that you should have and make a list of the standards that you choose to live by.
7. What are you tolerating in your life right now?
What are you putting up with that you choose to do something about? Have you been taught not to complain, get angry, or argue - even when it means jeopardizing your health or short-circuiting your passions?
Action Idea: Make a list of the things you are tolerating at home and work. Make the request and/or take the actions to eliminate these tolerations from your daily personal and professional life. By stating what you hate or are putting up with in your present circumstances, you can then identify what you want.
Consider each of the categories mentioned below. Make a thorough list and be specific. This list is for your eyes only, so spill onto paper whatever you hate about your present circumstances, without trying to sugar-coat how you are feeling. Here are some examples:
- Relationships: I hate feeling like I always have to be right. I hate how my son never wants to spend time with me.
- Health & Wellness: I hate being 20 pounds overweight. I hate getting so out-of-breath when I take the stairs. I hate that I am so stressed that I cannot fall asleep at night.
- Financial Health: I hate how I always defer my tax returns because I am so disorganized with my financial records. I hate how many tax deductions I forfeit because of my lousy record-keeping practices. I hate not setting aside 10% of my income for savings and retirement.
- Environment: I hate how my office is cluttered with piles of paper. I hate that I waste so much time looking for things. I hate how much money I waste because I have to buy something I have but cannot find. I hate that I cannot park my car in the garage because of all the junk stored in there.
- Work (paid or volunteer): I hate regularly working past 5 PM and on the weekends. I hate how much time is wasted in the board meetings I attend monthly.
8. Do you have a positive attitude?
Do you see the glass as half full or half empty? Attitude is the most important possession you have. Your attitude will determine your perception. Perception is a result of all of the decisions you've made about your world. Thoughts create emotions, and emotions cause you to generate expectations and attitudes. For example, when you perceive someone as kind or unkind, your thoughts stimulate an emotion, which then becomes an attitudinal vibe that determines how you interact with others, and how they interact with you. (This is called self-fulfilling prophecy.) As Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Action Ideas:
- Take the negative and find something positive about it. Be grateful for what you have right now. Develop reserves of time, love, and resources.
- Remember this equation: E (Event) + R (Response) = O (Outcome). No matter what the event, you choose your response, which will affect the outcome.
- When you are angry and need closure, rewrite the ending.
9. How strong is your support network?
Everyone needs to belong, to be loved, and to be supported. It helps to have people who can share your life, dreams, and concerns with a level of intimacy once reserved for families. Do you have a healthy support network in your life presently, either with biological family or with a family you've created?
Action Idea: Operate from choice rather than obligation. Choose to share the more intimate aspects of your life with those who love and support you. Actively seek out people whose company you enjoy.
10. Are you clear about what you want?
If you don' t know where you' re going, any road will take you there. It' s important to be clear about what you want so you can develop a clear path to it. Not sure where to begin? Mary Robinson Reynolds offers a wonderful model for your inner power to decide…
Action Idea:
If you have trouble expressing what you want, try working with these statements:
- I am willing to know what I want. When you make this statement of intention, your inner creative self will begin to receive information you may have previously rejected. Keep a journal of what comes to you.
- I am willing to ask for what I want. Now you can begin to formulate specific requests that will enable you to receive what you want.
- I am willing to receive exactly what I have asked for. This can be applied to attracting a life partner, an improved relationship with your child, a new career or promotion, or a new house or car.
Just think, if you improve one percent a day, you will be 100 percent improved in just 77 days!
In closing, I'll share a personal story...
I recall a time when I used these ten questions to work through a situation that was troubling me. I had made a sizeable investment to work with a company that offered a 100% satisfaction guarantee. After paying for it, I came to the realization that their offerings were not structured in a way that met my needs. I discontinued my participation and made a request to receive a refund. The owner tried to convince me that their offerings were great and that it would eventually work for me.
I used the ten questions above to help me effectively navigate through a discussion I had with the owner. Here's how I incorporated all ten:
- I got clear about how a past experience was rubbing salt in an old wound that was stirred up as I dealt with this situation. I chose not to treat the present as if it was the same as the past.
- My decisions and choices were based on my values.
- I showed up with full integrity.
- My needs were met.
- I was careful to honor my boundaries during the entire conversation.
- I did not compromise my standards.
- I did not allow myself to continue tolerating an agreement that felt broken to me.
- I entered into the conversation with a positive attitude and a clear vision of what I wanted for the outcome.
- I accessed my network to leverage my options.
- I was very clear about what I wanted, and I asked for it.
The owner and I came to an equitable solution. Following this model really helped to facilitate an effective discussion.
Choose one "action idea" that speaks to you.
Then take action on it within the next 24 hours.
Need Help Getting Organized?
Two FREE webinars will help!
Is this you?
- Do you often wonder where the time went?
- Does your to-do list keep getting longer, even though it feels like nothing is getting done?
- Have you totally given up on keeping a to-do list? (After all, you're never able to cross anything off, so what's the point?)
- Do you have trouble finding what you need?
- Do you feel like you’ll NEVER catch up?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, we can help out by teaching you some powerful techniques that will help you increase your personal and professional productivity. In fact, don't be surprised if we can add an hour or MORE to your day EVERY DAY. Imagine what you would do with an extra hour each and every day.
Here’s what you’ll be able to accomplish when you attend my upcoming webinars and put what you learn into practice:
- Find anything you’ve filed or stored in 5 seconds or less.
- Set your priorities and focus on what matters most (do this and you'll be amazed at how fast you can start crossing things off your to-do list).
- Remember important follow-up tasks BEFORE rather than AFTER…(wouldn't that save tons of stress not to mention embarrassment?).
- Efficiently handle mail, filing, returning phone calls and other repetitive tasks so you'll have more time to do the things you LOVE to do.
- Streamline information management and communications (no more time wasted on information that's "interesting but not relevant” to what you need NOW).
- Relax and enjoy a less cluttered environment.
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